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A Message from Michele
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Re: What's Stance On Exposing A To OM's (OW's) Spouse? [Re: Jrock] #2448965
04/29/14 04:02 AM
04/29/14 04:02 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 26
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Jrock Offline OP
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Jrock  Offline OP
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I want to thank everyone for sharing their opinions here. It gave me a lot to think about.

I had a long talk with my W. She claims she wants to end the A but she also wants to end the M. So, it looks like I'm facing a WAW situation.

I'll keep reading the books and asking for advice along the way. Should be an interesting journey regardless of the outcome.


Me: 50 W: 51 S: 9
M: 11 T:13
Re: What's Stance On Exposing A To OM's (OW's) Spouse? [Re: Jrock] #2448975
04/29/14 04:43 AM
04/29/14 04:43 AM
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 853
South Carolina
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MrCAS Offline
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Originally Posted By: Jrock
You have some great points. I could certainly use your type of spin and back out of the exposure. I can tell her that I was angry before but I've moved past it which is true. I can tell my W I came very close to exposing the A to the OM's W but I just knew it would mean her world would come apart. All of it is true.


There is NO spin. It is you being a man and admitting to your wife you messed up because you let your emotions control your rational thinking.

If you try to but a spin on it she will likely see through it and it could very well blow up in your face. You messed up... own it.

It isn't just her world that will be shaken but a whole other family. It will cause needless pain and heartache.

I have a mantra that I have used during my entire D process. It is Class, Honor, and Dignity or CHD for short. Every word that comes out of your mouth... every action that you take... every thought you have should follow this.

I believe your W will be more impressed with you being honest than putting a spin on it to make yourself look good.


“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter

M - 06/01
D - 05/14
Re: What's Stance On Exposing A To OM's (OW's) Spouse? [Re: MrCAS] #2448997
04/29/14 11:47 AM
04/29/14 11:47 AM
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MCAS, 'spin' was a poor choice of a word. I should have used 'persective' or 'poiny of view.' I like your way of thinking.


Me: 50 W: 51 S: 9
M: 11 T:13
Re: What's Stance On Exposing A To OM's (OW's) Spouse? [Re: Jrock] #2449050
04/29/14 02:58 PM
04/29/14 02:58 PM
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 853
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MrCAS Offline
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It took a lot of work to get to my line of thinking. I am giving it to you to help your journey... a shortcut so to say. I want you to learn a lesson from my pain so you can avoid your own.


“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter

M - 06/01
D - 05/14
Re: What's Stance On Exposing A To OM's (OW's) Spouse? [Re: MrCAS] #2449121
04/29/14 05:53 PM
04/29/14 05:53 PM
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Jrock Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: MrCAS
It took a lot of work to get to my line of thinking. I am giving it to you to help your journey... a shortcut so to say. I want you to learn a lesson from my pain so you can avoid your own.


It's exactly the kind of guidance and advice I need but did not expect to find. I'll definitely do my best to take it to heart and apply it to my own situation.

One of the things I really like about Michelle's approach is that it's really a self improvement method. Improving oneself is a benefit whether the divorce gets busted or not.


Me: 50 W: 51 S: 9
M: 11 T:13
Re: What's Stance On Exposing A To OM's (OW's) Spouse? [Re: Jrock] #2453165
05/16/14 11:56 PM
05/16/14 11:56 PM
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