Just received this email from H, we've been completely NC (well I have!) for the past 10 days after me finding out he was seeing OW again... I'm going to reply tomorrow about the kids as had planned to contact about them then anyway, do I acknowledge the rest or not, thoughts please?
Quote:
W, we can t carry on like this, the whole thing is a big mess. Im so sad about it all I feel so out of place. Wot r we doing for D3's birthday? Am I buying him a present? How is the house going? Av u done that tax return? Is D6 ok she seemed fine with me. I truly hope ur ok? X I miss u all I admit it x
I'd leave it alone. He knows your boundary...until he's willing to adhere to it, he's just trying to get your plate spinning again.
That said, it is progress....but he's got a ways farther to go before he's ready to do something about it. Give him that time.
You've created this situation H, this is the reality of your choices - you ended your marriage, your having an affair & you've destroyed your family. This is what YOU wanted?!
You've made it impossible for me to have any kind of contact with you - if that makes your life difficult then thats something you'll have to deal with because there is no way I will allow you to treat me the way that you have been & disrespect me like you have.
And then just answered his questions about the kids etc and updated him on a few things coming up for them.
Divorce Final: Oct 2014
Your struggles today, develop strength for tomorrow...
Careful. The problem with your response is that it opens a dialogue....he will respond, and then the back and forth may begin. Then he says the right things (note, "says", not "does"), and the next thing you know, your plate is spinning.
My suggestion would be to leave the rest alone regardless what he says at this point....keep it to "bills and boys."
Well done Up! My H is playing the poor me hard at the moment, just like your H. Um...they chose this path. It is all on them. You are my inspiration to keep my boundary in place!! Way to go girl
Careful. The problem with your response is that it opens a dialogue....he will respond, and then the back and forth may begin. Then he says the right things (note, "says", not "does"), and the next thing you know, your plate is spinning.
My suggestion would be to leave the rest alone regardless what he says at this point....keep it to "bills and boys."
Yeh I understand that, I'm not going to reply again I just wanted to make my position clear - he's been emailing/texting me several times daily & i've never replied so he clearly doesn't mind talking to himself anyway lol he isnt giving up i'll give him that!
He knows what he wanted to know now so there is no need for further communication unless its something important relating to the kids.
My plate is staying on solid ground & not jumping onto the roller coaster that is his life!
Divorce Final: Oct 2014
Your struggles today, develop strength for tomorrow...
Well done Up! My H is playing the poor me hard at the moment, just like your H. Um...they chose this path. It is all on them. You are my inspiration to keep my boundary in place!! Way to go girl
Oh its such a shame for them isnt it poor poor H's can no longer cake-eat, what cruel wives we are lol!
My H knows how stubborn I am, thats probably why he's panicking - if he missed me that much he'd be getting off his ass and doing something about this situation he's created instead of trying to pacify me with his words.
Its about time they realised that we wont be treated like doormats!
Divorce Final: Oct 2014
Your struggles today, develop strength for tomorrow...
We'll see. The problem here is that he knows exactly what he needs to do to have you in his life. He's just not ready to do it....yet. Any give on your part, let's him slide....so hold firm.
We'll see. The problem here is that he knows exactly what he needs to do to have you in his life. He's just not ready to do it....yet. Any give on your part, let's him slide....so hold firm.
Yes I really need to for my own sake regardless of my marriage - the thing i'm worried about is that i'm going to have to start working with him again in a couple of weeks, that will be when it gets tough...
Divorce Final: Oct 2014
Your struggles today, develop strength for tomorrow...
I'm just so mixed up at the moment, I've made my bed and will have to lie in it, I miss my family. Hope your ok I really do. Sorry for putting u through all this. Thank u for being a good wife x
Divorce Final: Oct 2014
Your struggles today, develop strength for tomorrow...
I feel so guilty about D6, I just don't know wot to do? I'm realizing now I've got to do this on my own, I'm not happy the way things are. I hate the way I've been, I'm so sorry.
Divorce Final: Oct 2014
Your struggles today, develop strength for tomorrow...
he isnt giving up i'll give him that!