So my W was over again tonight dropping off S again. She hung out for a while, casual conversation with laughing and acting completely comfortable. She says things recently that never make sense and I try not to think about, like I'm too good to her and she is more comfortable with me now than in the last couple years. Thats all fine and good but she still brings up the D now and then. Again tonight she reminds me that we haven't had a serious conversation about how we are going to proceed recently and we need to. I just responded with okay and tried to let it lie. Turned the conversation back to S upcoming birthday this July and Easter plans this weekend.
She can act so natural around me and tries to be funny. She lures me into some kind of comfort zone where I end up acting normal with her and then have to remind myself whats going on and that things aren't normal. It still doesn't make sense to me that we can get along as well as we do, can admit that we care deeply about one another (which we don't talk about recently, but its been said since BD), we never fight (not in years), and still she doesn't even look back like this is a mistake.
Its so tiring pretending to be happy. I wish I had more free time to GAL but with S living with me and the constant hand off's that are required each day I have so little time to do anything.
M: 43 W: 43 Married 6 yrs. T: 7 yrs. Son 20, 18, 17, 15 yrs. (w/ Autism), 12, 10
Bunches. I can empathize with the feeling that there is no time to get a life. If you look back at earlier threads of mine I am constantly saying the same things. I am pretty much at work or with s.
8 have made an effort to do more outside of house with s. (I avoided much in the past because of his behavior issues) we try now and are having a great time.
Also don't know if all my new inhome activities count as GAL but definitely help with PMA. Exercise videos, meditate and yoga. I actually look forward to nights h is with ow because I can do yoga in living room.
I have a long list of things I want to do if I have time. For now an occasional dinner or drinks with friends is still more than I did before.
All that to say.. do what you can. Do what makes you feel good.
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
So when W dropped off S again last night she asked about plans for the weekend. I gave her the run down and she seemed disappointed, aparently she was thinking about trying to grab him for tonight to take to a friends but I had already planned to take him to a church event tonight and its my night so I didn't bother offering to change plans. It also bothered her that I was taking him to this kids entertainement place nearby, saying she had wanted to take him there. I let her know we had gone recently and he had a blast. She let me know she was bothered that she didn't get to do it be involved but she would not be 'mad at me for it'. I found that ridiculous but let it slide. Showed her his easter basket I setup yesterday and she made some remark about not leaving her any room to put anything in his basket. Then I mentioned a plan I was thinking of for his upcoming birthday. I wanted to take him to this waterpark nearby and invite family members that were neutral to the situation so there is a comfort level with all of us attending. She seemed okay with the idea but again she was obviously bothered and said it was because she had always made the plans in the past and felt left out.
All in all I felt very accomplished for my planning and taking care of S needs. Too bad it bothers her, I'm not going to let it divert me from making plans.
M: 43 W: 43 Married 6 yrs. T: 7 yrs. Son 20, 18, 17, 15 yrs. (w/ Autism), 12, 10
So my W was over again tonight dropping off S again. She hung out for a while, casual conversation with laughing and acting completely comfortable. She says things recently that never make sense and I try not to think about, like I'm too good to her and she is more comfortable with me now than in the last couple years. Thats all fine and good but she still brings up the D now and then. Again tonight she reminds me that we haven't had a serious conversation about how we are going to proceed recently and we need to. I just responded with okay and tried to let it lie. Turned the conversation back to S upcoming birthday this July and Easter plans this weekend.
She can act so natural around me and tries to be funny. She lures me into some kind of comfort zone where I end up acting normal with her and then have to remind myself whats going on and that things aren't normal. It still doesn't make sense to me that we can get along as well as we do, can admit that we care deeply about one another (which we don't talk about recently, but its been said since BD), we never fight (not in years), and still she doesn't even look back like this is a mistake.
So as an answer to the above. My Wife does this all the time. She even did it at the Table with the Lawyers. The Collaborative Divorce Coach , a PHD in Psychology and family therapy said he also noticed her doing it to me in the parking lot. He claims that SHE IS SEDUCING ME with her looks and actions. He also told me she told him things about spending time with me etc...he said it completely has flabbergasted him that our relationship is breaking up we fought a lot and OM is offering her a life of travel, which the Coach says will wear off quickly.
So I think your WAW is also trying to seduce you into doing what she wants and still desiring her....
Its so tiring pretending to be happy. I wish I had more free time to GAL but with S living with me and the constant hand offs that are required each day I have so little time to do anything.
W 53 H 51, S 16, S 21 33 years M 28 DD 3 Feb 11, 2014 S21 and His Fiancée move in with us 8/14 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...965#Post2477965
How about this, try not mentioning what your wife might be doing or thinking for the next five posts. You need to break this cycle, dude, for your own piece of mind. Can't you see that everything you write is about her and weird sexual descriptions? STOP! This is not DB, it's actually unhealthy.
Unbidden, you are totally right. I only post about interaction with her. I don't think I noticed how focused I am. Here I am being proud of detached progress and to read my own posts doesn't look like I've done it at all. Thanks for pointing this out.
M: 43 W: 43 Married 6 yrs. T: 7 yrs. Son 20, 18, 17, 15 yrs. (w/ Autism), 12, 10
Having an excellent Easter weekend. S and I went shopping for most of the necessities for the week last night, forgot a few things but no biggie. Lounged around the house early today, went out to lunch and then to Catch Air (local kids place for fun). Got in a little exercise still while watching some TV this evening and then cleaned up and prepped for Easter morning. Tomorrow we will go to church after the early morning basket of candy waiting on him and then to meet up with family to enjoy Easter.
All in all a good weekend.
M: 43 W: 43 Married 6 yrs. T: 7 yrs. Son 20, 18, 17, 15 yrs. (w/ Autism), 12, 10
Just got foreclosure notices in the mail today. Even expecting it there is a certain disgust to knowing you are loosing your home. All in all its probably for the best. This house was not the best choice and there is no value or need for it now. Plans keep seeming to shift around recently as to what is going to be happening with S but it sounds now like he will stay with W for the couple summer months visiting me and then live with me again when school is back in and I'm settled into an apartment. I think that is for the best too but honestly didn't expect to be agreed with.
Should be a very interesting couple of months trying to get ready to move. Kind of exciting though to think of a new place and what I want to tdo with it for myself. Come to think of it recently, I've never lived on my own either. Went from living with my folks to living with a buddy to getting married. Could be fun.
M: 43 W: 43 Married 6 yrs. T: 7 yrs. Son 20, 18, 17, 15 yrs. (w/ Autism), 12, 10
Me: 31, W: 29 T: 4 M: 2 Kids: 3 (SS: 7, SD: 4, D: 3) Separated, still living together: Nov 2013 Separate bedrooms: Feb 2014 W working away; kids with me: Nov 2014
How about this, try not mentioning what your wife might be doing or thinking for the next five posts. You need to break this cycle, dude, for your own piece of mind. Can't you see that everything you write is about her and weird sexual descriptions? STOP! This is not DB, it's actually unhealthy.
great thoughts, more of us need to be reminded of this. my struggle today is remembering the NO ONE CAN MAKE ME HAPPY BUT ME. Even my kids, even my parents. Maybe they will, maybe they won't, but I can't control that. Also, keep in mind that most WAWs are confused. That's better than 100% sure they are done.
