M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Yes I do......I need to continue working on my "nice guy" BS and be D4's father
Sat will be a co-parent test for me as its D4's first ballet recital. My parents will be attending and it will be their first time seeing X in over a year....My mother is still pissed, feels like she needs to "share her feelings". I clearly explained that there will be consequences if she does.
After the accident I went to see my doctor for help with the back spasims, as he was feeling around he tells me I have a hernia and refers me to a surgeon.....swell:(
I see the surgeon and now I have a date (pretty shippy date). On May 21 I go under the knife for the first time and it scares the hell out of me.
It also makes me confront one of my original fears head on. I will be alone recovering. No loved one to take me home and check in on me. My mother was all to eager to jump up and volunteer but ive finally made progress on laying down boundaries and her being around will challange those newly laid parameters.
Being a virgo im also VERY critical of my appearance. My list of issues critical of me is long,scaring is just another item.
The spasims have also GREATLY reduced my exercise as I was really starting to look good for the summer. Ive changed my routine but the fact that i had tracked success in pushups and situps from bomb drop was a esteem build for me in terms of seeing progress in a clear way (reps). Goals are being redrawn again.
Im frustrated at the unexpected bump in the road. Ive never had back stiffness in the morning- Im whiny Ill get over it and continue to move FORWARD!
Hell, its better than D4 and I Dead!
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
Im bald, seperated and soon to be UNEMPLOYED!!!!!!
My center is closing mid July . I was informed last week.
I was told to go to the conference room. When I walked in there was a box of tissues on the table. I knew.
My co-workers were ruined. Some will lose houses or cars.....
Thankfully, I have no Mortgage, no debt and live below my means.
There is interest in me within my company but at locations much further away from my Apt (up to 90 minutes away) Needless to say, my mind is all over the place.
My number 1 priority is being D4.5 father My number 2 priority is to remain in the same area as to Maintain my support network and allow D4.5 as much contact with Mommy as possible
I realize that im scared of unemployment. Im also realizing that I was looking for "permission" to stop working from someone. I was at a point 2 nights ago where I was willing to accept ANY job- just to remain "employed".
Today Im mixed. I realized that If im unemployed I should use the time to do things I would never have the opportunity to do....Like take a three week trip to India- That is exciting. I have a friend there who would provide 100% lodging.
but then the Herculean task of finding a new job punches me in the gut and I start to think that I should take the same job that I hate BUT HAVE, in a different location further away, for less money- just to not be unemployed!!!!!!!
Im rambling right now...
I feel like I need to be "responsible" because im a father.....
but what does "responsible" mean in this context?
The best part in all of this;
I will have been confronted by my two biggest nightmares (W affairs and layoff) - I cant believe how much strength I have:)
Keep your head up no matter how FUBAR your sitch is !!!!!
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
That is EXACTLY what im thinking- figuring out what "IT" is will be a challenge. Im still working on who I am.
I feel very detached from this announcement. Is it possible that I loathed my job for so long that im happy they made this decision for me?
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
My x-mother in law just bought me a new car "To make sure her granddaughter is safe"
Im not a mindreader
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
