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Joined: Feb 2013
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Link to previous.....http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2416484#Post2416484

In a moment of cockiness i decided to begin a new thread. 14 months later and I have myself a new life - and it doesnt suck smile

My "X" is still deeeeeep in the fog and borderline insane. In many ways almost opposite of who she used to be. DB has worked to date- I THINK im becoming a Man only a fool would leave (focus on the word becoming). If the fog lifts and she opens her eyes she will see it.

What am I doing right now (other then performing a "sun dance"- its 12 degrees right now)

I am obsessed with all things credit score and find myself spending too much time gobbling up information with the myfico.___ forum.

I am moving and the house will close on Monday - MY OWN PLACE (only an apartment but it doesnt have "us" history in it)

I am continuing my journey into my "nice guy" tendencies. 38 years living with this BS - its going to take a long time to unpeel this onion.

Im fascinated with just how dumb I am with woman. How unprepared I am for the dating world. Im a "whack a mole" waiting to get walloped. So i am digging deep into attraction and "what works". I CRINGE when I look back- knowing what I know now - but if I do date again I hope not too suck so bad smile

Exercise, exercise, exercise- time to start the focus on heart rate......Bike, walking, running etc.

I still do not talk about my R with acquaintances. I dont lie but if im asked about my X I tell them she is fine and move on to D4. This is a tough transition as I still feel like a failure and feel embarrassment.

D4's superman smile

just a work in progress..............


ME 38 W 37
T18 M5
D3
BD 1/7/13
PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing
2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13
W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13
First mediation appt 12/19/13


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Originally Posted By: Positivespin


I am continuing my journey into my "nice guy" tendencies. 38 years living with this BS - its going to take a long time to unpeel this onion.




Glad to hear this PS. I too am working on myself at a snails pace. Not fun, nor easy, yet all we have is ourselves.

take care.


M46,W41
D16,D18
M22,T25
BD 11/12
W moved out 01/13
Piecing 10/13
Divorced 01/15
"Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can."
UrWorthy
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Very positive, good for you!! Great to hear your update smile


Divorce Final: Oct 2014

Your struggles today, develop strength for tomorrow...
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Wow, PS, you were able to drag jp out of the woodwork.

PS, I'm happy to hear you sounding so...positive!


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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WHEW!!!!!!!

House is sold, Ive moved in, and there are no boxes anywhere. I accomplished my plan! I was 100% moved out of the 2200 sq foot house on Thur (I began at 7am and returned the UHaul at 11pm). Everything was set up and out of boxes by 7pm on Friday. D4 came home to a obnoxious pink princess bedroom on Sat. Her jaw hit the floor:)

Two days ago the deal closed- I am now "houseless"

I was so physically broken that I was unable to perform any exercise for 3 days. Yesterday was the first day I began to get back into my routine.

Now im in OCD overdrive........cleaning cleaning cleaning.

Last night while journaling I had a Epiphony (This is where you all say "no shnit stupid!"). I realized that I have no one to push me anymore. I havent seen a doctor in 2 years. I need to make a eye appt, dentist appt etc.

Bomb has exploded and its time to create a new normal.

Im knocking on wood right now- im past surviving today and tomorrow- How do D4 and I THRIVE in the new future?

Take care of you....FIRST!!!!!


ME 38 W 37
T18 M5
D3
BD 1/7/13
PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing
2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13
W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13
First mediation appt 12/19/13


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Posts: 565
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When I began this journey over a year ago all the vets were pounding in my head the need to "lovingly detach".

About this time last year my X informed me that she would be traveling to S. Fran with her boy toy over the memorial day weekend and that I would need to watch D4............I was broken, the tears flowed and I found myself sinking even deeper in depression.


BOY HAVE TIMES CHANGED smile

Im writing this today because I just received almost the same exact email today (which brought back the memories)- She is going somewhere, with perhaps someone, again over memorial and I DONT CARE......because Ill be doing something super cool with D4 while also planning my own trip to France later this year!

The principles in DB work on so many different levels BUT, #1- YOU need to work on YOU before you have any hope at long term success.

Tomorrow will only be better smile


ME 38 W 37
T18 M5
D3
BD 1/7/13
PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing
2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13
W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13
First mediation appt 12/19/13


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Posts: 251
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How have you been PS?

You have such a wonderful attitude throughout this crazy journey. Good job with the detachment. Im still having a bit of trouble with this due that I see her every 2nd or 3rd day..

France with your D, how fun would that be!

Hope you and D had a fun Easter!


H 37
WAW 32
S 4 (Autistic)
S 2
Together 11 years
Married 6
Bombshell Dec 1 2012
House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
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😃😃😃😃

Come see me .....

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Those are smiley faces.... Btw

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I was almost killed by a drunk driver ...........

My friends, d4 and I were heading back from a bike show at 11:30 am when we were tagged hard from behind on the highway. We were going 65 on rt 95 and he hit us so hard that the rear bumper pushed the rear seat in 2 inches.

we spun twice and avoided a 18 wheeler- thankfully didnt flip down the embankments on either side of the highway.

...........we all walked away smile

The driver tried fleeing .....troopers found a open fifth of vodka in the car

and now i have back spasms and surgery to show for it.

Its all good !!!!!!!!

Maybe i now qualify for a medical "License".....If you know what I mean- and I know you all do smile

Gotta go- ill be back soon


ME 38 W 37
T18 M5
D3
BD 1/7/13
PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing
2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13
W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13
First mediation appt 12/19/13


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