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#2440331 03/24/14 06:03 AM
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Thought I would update on life a bit.

My first union job is going well. Funny thing about making more money... seems the government and union takes more. laugh

With all the initiation fees and extra fees, I'll pretty much break even on this show. So.. not earning yet.. but feel like I'm heading in the right direction.

In other big news - there's a new lady in my life. We are not officially dating. We've been friends for a long time, but things changed between us about 2 weeks ago. For those of you who remember me talking about my friend in my last thread - YEP. It's her.

Needless to say it's complicated and intense. She's on a journey to fix some things about herself. Her last relationship taught her some things she needed to change. Me - having feelings for someone other than my x brings up new fears. Sometimes I want to run when it get's too complicated.. but I convince myself to stay every time.

It's definitely a process. We seem to continue to move toward each others and I'm good with that. Her request was to help her grow as an individual. My request was that we both stepped boldly regardless of our fears when it came to each other.

So it's a day at a time. Maybe we will have a relationship. Maybe I will want more.. I don't know. Staying in the present is key for me right now. Acknowledging my fears and not allowing them to get the better of me is crucial.

However at the same time - I feel a sense of calm. I'm kinda like "he!!, if I can get through a Divorce and at the end of the day - be thankful... this is cake.". That thought keeps me grounded.

So yah - exciting stuff in my life. Hopeful, cautious, but always trying to be loving in everything I do.


M(f): 40
D'ed: 8/12

Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.

Love at all costs because you are loved well.
Valeska19 #2440353 03/24/14 12:27 PM
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Val,

You sound really good! I am very happy for you. What an exciting time filled with new possibilities! And yes... No doubt... you can get through anything!


Me(F):40 WAW:44
T:13yrs M:9yrs
BD:2/12 (I saw a text)
ILYBINILWY: 5/12
PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11)
S:2/13
Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13
W moves home to R: 10/13
RealityTrip #2440948 03/26/14 03:49 AM
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I love it and I an't wait to get the latest update!

You so deserve to be happy (you already are and YOU make it happen) and to be loved (which you are, by many people).

Next comes a partner to share all of that with... smile


(((((val)))))


Me & H: 44
D7, D6, S3
Together: 20y, M: 17y
EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10
EA becomes PA: Spring 2011
H filed for D: 09/06/12
D Negotiating began 2/15
OW seemingly gone on 3/15
Still negotiating D






Valeska19 #2441022 03/26/14 02:50 PM
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Quote:
Her last relationship taught her some things she needed to change.


This is so great to hear.

Sounds like a quality person.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
labug #2441354 03/27/14 05:43 PM
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I am so very happy for you!

Enjoy the fruits of the seeds you’ve planted, nurture the new growth, plant and encourage more. This is your garden, shape it for you.


BITS
Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55
D 30
S 27

You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
JustStunned #2441875 03/29/14 11:56 PM
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I cant imagine how scary it would be to start a new relationship and how much sh!t would come up.

Just remember you only live once and these are the risks we need to take to live a full rich life


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

BklynMom #2449991 05/03/14 02:41 AM
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My X and I haven't spoke since August of 2013. In fact, I pretty much set the boundary that I couldn't really be friends with her seeing that she wanted to dip in and out of my life as she pleased.

Today - she did something random. She liked my profile pic on Facebook.

Sure - I can see her liking statuses/photos of our mutual friends.. but she went to my private profile and liked my picture. She's has never done anything like this in 3 years.

I'm not really spinning about it... I just kinda find it annoying. She really doesn't seem to get it does she?


M(f): 40
D'ed: 8/12

Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.

Love at all costs because you are loved well.
Valeska19 #2450016 05/03/14 12:14 PM
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Have you thought about blocking her? I did that to my exw recently. It took some strentgh but I noticed that I obssessed over her life. Now there is silence in my brain smile


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





Valeska19 #2450031 05/03/14 02:44 PM
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Originally Posted By: Valeska19

My X and I haven't spoke since August of 2013. In fact, I pretty much set the boundary that I couldn't really be friends with her seeing that she wanted to dip in and out of my life as she pleased.

Today - she did something random. She liked my profile pic on Facebook.

Sure - I can see her liking statuses/photos of our mutual friends.. but she went to my private profile and liked my picture. She's has never done anything like this in 3 years.

I'm not really spinning about it... I just kinda find it annoying. She really doesn't seem to get it does she?


What was she supposed to get?


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
labug #2450641 05/06/14 06:29 PM
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Someone once said.....

"Temptation comes when a door is left INTENTIONALLY open."

Why does she have access to your profile to begin with?

Deep down inside...are you angry or just confused?

Why is it annoying?


"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
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