my feelings as my day continues is this "she couldn't care any less if we ever talk or if she ever sees me again for the rest of her life." its like she is doing everything she can to rid me from her memory and pretend like our R never happened. That hurts my feelings beyond belief. I have never been so frustrated or felt so helpless in my life. 27 days ago she is in my lap talking about our future, kids, house to buy, where we will be in 6 months to this current state of filing for D. I cant handle this being the end. Why is she moving so fast? Should I contact her? I have not spoken with her but twice in the last 15 days.
help, any vets out there? in search of much needed answers/help!
___________________________________________________________ M: 32 W: 26 M 7 months, T 4 years M: 2nd M W: 1st M No kids
living separately 1/26/14 W files D 2/24/14 D final 4/28/14
"my feelings as my day continues is this "she couldn't care any less if we ever talk or if she ever sees me again for the rest of her life." its like she is doing everything she can to rid me from her memory and pretend like our R never happened. That hurts my feelings beyond belief."
You do understand that YOU are doing this to yourself. Not her. She's not hurting your feelings, YOU are. YOU allow the way you feel. YOU can also NOT feel that way. Understand and respect the fact that it is her decision to live her life the way she wants to, just like how you have a choice to live your life the way you want to.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
"I filed for divorce. You can either go in the next couple of days and sign. If you don't go sign then they will have to serve you work. It will be less embarassing if you just go sign. You need to get tv water and electric out of my name. Please put my Taurus key in mailbox and I will put your car key and apt key in there for you. At the end of the week I will take my name off joint acct and stop using it."
Received this email from my W last night. What exactly should my next steps be? Need help from any and everyone????
I'm in a state of shock.
You call a L asap. YES you do. You don't "wing it" and do all this without a L. That is penny wise and pound foolish (or to put it in American terms, don't save a penny today that will cost you a dollar tomorrow).
I don't know what assets you have, if any. But seeing a L to discuss this MAKES SENSE even if you only hire him/her for an hour at a time to review the documents she sends you.
And waive the service, which is what she is asking you to do by signing. If you don't sign off on that waiver, then you get served divorce papers somewhere, and she's telling you ahead of time that it would be at your work. This, btw, was a courtesy on HER end. She could have just had you served wherever...
She's not trying to rub your nose in things; she's trying to divorce awfully fast, I agree. But don't read negativity beyond that.
I think Not arguing about the lawyers and money when there's not much to debate, keeps the uglier side of things separate from your interactions.
When you do interact, see it as an opportunity to show the new confident you.
And don't freak out if she's seeing OM, b/c she probably has someone in mind or she would not be leaving you. Granted, her fantasy about who is out there and what they are really like in a r, is not real.
But to HER, it will feel that way. Do not challenge her choices now. Remember, that only forces her to defend those choices.
Read the "Newbie Rules" and btw, Sandi assembled those, she did not make them up. They are based on MWD's (Div Busting) approaches.
(So You can't blame sandi if they don't work!)
Note that SOME won't apply to your situation....but some sure will.
But DO consult a Lawyer. Consulting does not mean you are filing, it means what it says, "i.e. consulting." Knowledge is power.
And if there is a lot of money in that joint account, you may want to take a closer look at the numbers...
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Thanks 25yearsmic. We do not have any assets. And we you are saying "waive the service" you are saying go to the attorneys office and sign? Does this mean the D will be final upon my signature?
___________________________________________________________ M: 32 W: 26 M 7 months, T 4 years M: 2nd M W: 1st M No kids
living separately 1/26/14 W files D 2/24/14 D final 4/28/14
Does this mean the D will be final upon my signature?
No, you are just signing the "waiver of service." That way someone does not try and serve you in public (i.e. at your office). Make sure that it is the only thing you sign. In the meantime, call and find a lawyer. You need to be getting advice relevant to your state. The D process is very different depending on your location. If I were you, I would get on the phone asap and set up a consultation.
While my sitch is very different, you need to see a L ASAP. If you care about YOU, then you need to do this. Remember, first take care of YOURSELF. Consulting a lawyer will at leat give you options and will not let her keep all control in her field. Knowledge is indeed power.
BTW, two weeks into my current sitch and I can honestly say that while it hurts, I can start thinking about a few other things, and I that pit in my stomach is no longer a constant thing. It gets better, just hang in there...
Regarding the waiver, I recommend that you do not sign it without first consulting a lawyer. When you sign a waiver you are giving up certain rights, and what rights you're giving up varies from state-to-state. It may be more than just not getting served with the D petition, you may be giving up your right to be informed of court dates and even to represent yourself in court. Getting served a petition is really no big deal, I was served at home. A plain clothes officer of the court asked me to confirm my name and when I did she handed me the papers and that was it.
