Sorry you feel that way.. I've been S from my W for 15 months I'm DB like a trooper and get the feeling it's all for nothing. I stop at work and stand there thinking to myself "I can't believe its over!"
The one thing I can tell you is I've taking great comfort and knowledge from these boards, it really does make sense to just go out there and enjoy YOUR life. Sure your W left you for a reason so try and do 180's on them but if she sees you enjoying yourself, your life she may just jump back on board?
M - 37 W - 35 T - 11 M - 5.5 SD13 D10 S4 ILYBINILWY 15 Oct '12 Moved out 7 Dec 12 At present - Being the best dad i can be.
its been a long time since I've posted....I have had a few strings on here, I'd point them out but I'm not that savy on tech stuff. Anyway...for the most part I feel comfortable with everything, and actually most of the time pretty confident that my ex knows exactly what I have learned, what my feelings are and EXACTLY how I still feel about her. The troubled spot comes with how or even if there is a way to help facilitate more dialog and deepen the friendship between us…so that she can begin to trust that the changes I made are indeed permanent. Right now, I have not spoken with, or seen her since Nov. 11th, when we had a little lunch date….and honestly, I hope that I am not seeing just the things I want to (I truly don’t think so, there always is that? In your mind, ya know?), but honestly, I do know her pretty well after 7 years, and I am/was convinced that she still has feelings for me…..the whole lunch thing didn’t even have to take place in person. She could have easily blown me off with a letter text or call, and told me to never bother her again…but we had a pretty fun lunch, and it even lasted into the late afternoon…as I picked her up at 12:00, didn’t drop her back off at her car until almost 4:30p. Lots of smiles, laughs, familiarity, even a few flirtatious comments. And one thing for sure when it came to me putting it all on the table and saying that I wanted to reconcile, I did…and like I said, she knows how I feel, she saw my emotion as well as my pain that day. But she has a boy friend, and isn’t thinking the same as I am…. Later that night we even shared a few more texts, in which I sent her a link to watch an interview with a couple that had written a book about their own experience of divorce and reconciliation….I know she took the time to watch it because she asked me a few more questions about 45 mins later. The next day on my way to work I placed the book in the mailbox and just asked that she look at the first 2 chapters….but since then, we have not spoken, so I have NO idea what she read or didn’t. The points I was thinking you might be able to give me more perspective on are about staying in contact now and then verse just being out of the picture completely. And ANYTHING that might help promote dialog I would think be a plus….but maybe not? I don’t know….it does get rather confusing ata times. However, I am in good place overall….I am back to being the me I lost a while ago, and like I said, I have learned so very much from the entire experience. I just think that in comparison to some of the things I have seen others split over, and then get back together….I am like wow, my [censored], (our [censored]) was small potatoes in comparison. Her relationship now is a guy from her past, someone she knew as a teen, but lost contact with until we divorced….but he lives about 2.5 hrs away, they see each other about every other weekend. He doesn’t own his own home and he lives with his parents, plus he has 3 kids from previous relationships, 1 that is older, and 2 that live up norther where he has a joint custody thing with them they will not graduate until 6 more years (I think). So…this is a short synopsis….all I wanted was a little advice on if there was anything I might try, or what?
M 52 W 40 D 15 (step) S 12 (step) Married 7, together almost 8 Separated 1 year before bomb from her "I love you, I'm just..." BD final 8/22/12
OK...so I am still in love, what am I suppose to do about that?
There is nothing wrong with still being in love. That is how you feel. What are you doing with your time(GAL)? How are you different now than when this all came down? What is going to attract your ex back to you?
Here is a thought. Be the person you would want to date. What does that person look like? How do you get there?
James 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance...