Just starting a new topic due to old one has been shut down. Writing from the iPad so will transfer old link later and write update as well.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
So just bringing info from the previous thread. After about 7 months with no contact with SIL or ex best friend, I met up with them separately a few days ago. A lot of discussion about the W's new behaviours and attitudes for the worse. Also a situation coming up is a 21st party for my s21 fiance (her 21st). It will be held on a property, quite a distance from home and requires an escort to the property, so we don't get lost. This party will be an overnighter where we bring our own tents. Anyway I found out that W will now be coming (originally wasn't) and is bringing OW with her. So my question is how do I deal with this? Also got a text from the W yesterday thanking me for offering to give a shipping container to friend (see last thread). Again my question is do I reply to her? And how do I deal with the ex friend telling someone in the family about my offer and then the W is aware of it? Signed the papers yesterday with the solicitor with regards to splitting of assets. They will be mailed to the W, she signs them and viola, I own the house, townhouse, new car and everything she walked away from. The W issued the paperwork, which would have cost her somewhere around $3 to $5 thousand dollars to have done. So it didn't make any difference if I signed it first or not. Normally it would have been me signing first anyway, rather than the person who issued it.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
MODS: Could you please reference the last thread with this thread. Thanks.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Something that was interesting that the ex friend told me. The W has given up on the Christianity, she believes it isn't helping her at this time in life.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Also a situation coming up is a 21st party for my s21 fiance (her 21st). It will be held on a property, quite a distance from home and requires an escort to the property, so we don't get lost. This party will be an overnighter where we bring our own tents. Anyway I found out that W will now be coming (originally wasn't) and is bringing OW with her. So my question is how do I deal with this?
If it were me I would go for my kid, but I'd make sure not to pitch my tent next to W's, LOL! I think she and OW are going to feel mighty uncomfortable with you around, but that's their problem, not yours.
djhartm, thank you for joining in, and you make some valid points. The problem is I don't have a choice having her around my family. The sons are adults, so it is now their choice.
Anotherstander, I agree, I am going to the party for my son and his fiance (her 21st party), not for any reason to do with the W. Yes I think it will be mighty uncomfortable for the W. Even the future DIL parents would be going what the .....? Unless W and OW decide to a. leave early or b. sleep in separate tents. Again who really cares what they do. They can spend all the time in the world pretending to everyone.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Dear HWA, My response to your question regarding your W's friendly text, might be to consider a casual and short response if you choose to respond. Something as short and simple "thank you your nice words". Or, you can maintain a bit of "dark" and not respond. How might each of these options impact your present goals with her at this time?
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
In my case, I never did acknowledge the OW. It is about you and the W.
I remember reading a great quote from Spencer Tracy's wife when she met Katharine Hepburn for the first time: I thought you were just a rumor. LOL!!
To show W that you're detached, you can respond to her text as in "sure thing...no problem. have a good day!" The key thing in your interactions with W going forward is friendly and cordial. She's made her choice and needs to live with it for a while.
The main focus is rebuilding your relationship with your sons. It is about making them happy, feeling valued, and being able to trust you once again. What does that look like to you? Dig deep and you'll see the answers right inside you all along.
Laurie, it really is the devil I do, and the devil I don't. Thank you for joining in again, it is much appreciated. For: the wife sees a lot more of the better me, the person who actually thinks about others and thanks them. Therefore can only be good for the sitch. Against: she can then send another text asking about the paperwork or some other things that I don't want to think or talk about.
In some ways, neither option will make a difference to my present goals with her.
Ok, will give it a try: "W, thank you for your nice words". Lets see what happens? PS: It has been 48 hours since the text came from the W.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
