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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 2,877
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adinva Offline OP
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Posts: 2,877
I'm waving the white flag and moving over to Surviving the Big D. Here's the whole epic for the record:

Hoping Friends Can Return to Lovers
Hoping 2
Hoping 3
Hoping 4
Living With No Expectations
In-Home Separation, One Year Point
In-Home Separation, One Year Point 2
Month 13: Telling Kids and Going Public
14 Months Secret Separation: talking mediation
Are Things Getting Better? 1.25 years in
Limbo with a Side of Lawyers ~16 Months
Separation at 17.5 Months
Answering Tough Questions (18 Months)
New Year, New Life (19 months)
Just a Big Disappointment (19.5 months)
Living, Getting the Paperwork Started (20 months)
Life, One Day at a Time (22 months)
Life, continued (22+ months)
Still Living, 23 months
Two years in limbo, it's a fine place
2.25 Years, Moving Forward
Can see sun with head out of sand - 2.5yr

While I never say never and don't try to predict the future, I do seem to be in the process of the world's slowest divorce. Having seen no evidence, for YEARS, that would suggest my marriage might be different and better in the future, I'm ready to get my ducks in a row, protect my kids, and take care of myself.

I've been lurking over in Surviving and am happy to see regular traffic over there and some like-minded healthy people, so my friends can find me there now and then. I'll probably still pop in to check on the newbies over here.

The most important thing I've learned here is to forget trying to save my marriage or influence my husband. The ONLY thing I could do, which is also the ONLY thing that might have had either of those two effects, was to be a beautiful, confident, interesting, happy and independent person. That I am working on.

So my heartfelt thanks go to the people who talked sense into me, helped me heal, and gave me the best shot possible at positioning myself for a potential reconciliation. Though it didn't happen, I am in a better place than I've ever been in my life. 25, cat, ur, others, thank you. I've got all the fish I could ever need.

See you over in Surviving.


Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
__
Happiness is a warm puppy.
Joined: Jun 2013
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You're journey was long and hard but you came out great.

Don't strike off planet from your newbie help list. wink


M35 XW34
D5 D4
M 6years T 10years
Bomb 5/2013
Joint Petition signed 6/2013
Moved out end of 8/2013
Court Hearing of Joint Petition 9/2013
D finalized in 3 months - no news yet
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
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Quote:
beautiful, confident, interesting, happy and independent person.
I think you are all that.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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Hey A, what a journey, right? I am honored you included me.

You are all that and more. Keep growing, learning, looking within.

Best of luck to you and yours. I will stop by and say hi. smile

Joined: Oct 2013
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Ad, I am sorry that you are moving over to the D board . . . you have been such an inspiration to so many on Newcomers, and your insights are always spot on.

I don't know your whole story, but I do know your H is a damn fool.

Best of luck. Hope to see your name pop up now and then for the newbies! smile


me: 44 XH: 42
M 11 years
D10 and S8
Bomb drop 9/27/13
D final 7/1/14
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
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Ad,

I hope you've read the fine print in the 'Big D' about Wii's procilvities--especially his froggy buddy. Just considered yourself warned, m'dear. wink


Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

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