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Joined: Sep 2006
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Back in 2005-2006, I lived on this site, trying to head off an inevitable divorce. I thought I would never be able to get out of that black tunnel and ever have a "normal" life again. I'm here to say it can happen again!

Seven years later, I am exceptionally lucky to be remarried to a wonderful woman, who I knew in a previous life when we were both married to other people. I never thought I could EVER get back on my feet back in 2006. It was so bad, I tried to check out permanently, which many of you will understand. If you're bored, look at the torment from my Christmas 2006 post.

My XW started seeing her boss while I was in Iraq, and she now lives with him and my S15. Even though her "love tanks were empty" (her stupid phrase), she continues to have the need to punish me for any real or imagined transgressions.

Even though she is living in a 2.5 million dollar home, I still get requests for monthly medical reimbursements for 60% of a $10 prescription for my son, even though my $1500 monthly child support is never a day late. If the $6 is not sent in a prompt enough manner for her, threats of "Contempt" begin to abound.

She wanted out, but has this weird need to want to continuously communicate, even in negative fashion. The true sign of a Borderline Personality. She has become incredibly intrusive in my new marriage by the constant court issues,and by signing my son up for every tier 1 lacrosse and hockey program she can, to the tune of 3-K a year, without as much as a courtesy email to see if I can shell out 2K on a moment's notice. I didn't want to pay for a camp last summer and lost the court case, so I just write the checks now.

Although I got dragged, I should have let go of her long before I lost everything including my self-worth. A good message to those of you out there who are convinced you can save your marriage. Re-evaluate it....see if that's what really is the best. In my case, it was NOT.

That being said, divorce is HORRIBLE, not matter what, leaving a wake of human grief in it's path. My two older daughters have never been the same, with my middle daughter attempting suicide last year and dropping out of a competitive college.

I have spend thousands of dollars on attorneys, and have just put out another 3K so that I could GIVE my XW half of MY military pension as a result of a divorce that I never asked for, but I am now grateful for in a number of ways.

I look at my bank statements and shake my head at the alimony (which I no longer pay, after 12K in legal bills even though cohabitation was specified as a reason to stop it in my divorce decree!)and the child support, and just shake my head at the human tragedy of divorce.

The only people who make out in a divorce are the bottom-feeding "family law" attorneys.......ugh.

Stay strong. Take care of yourselves.

Joined: Jan 2003
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kml Offline
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So glad you were finally able to get the alimony stopped, although sorry it cost so much in legal fees to do so.

I'm surprised your teenage son hasn't come to live with you by now, and so sorry to hear about your daughter's depression. My kids also have suffered from serious depressions and mental issues, and although I don't think the divorce was the cause, I always wonder how much healthier they might be if they hadn't gone through the divorce.

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kml:

I just noticed you have been here for over 10 years as well!

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kml Offline
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Yup. Saved my marriage after my H had an affair, had several more pretty good years until MLC carried him off for good, split almost 5 years ago, divorced now and dating a tall dark and handsome younger man and playing drums in a pop-punk band smile

Luckily my ex is not too much trouble, except for he keeps finding ways to stick me with helping our grown children financially while he begs off (despite the fact that he makes 3 times what I do). Oh well, the kids at least know who has their back.

Joined: Feb 2008
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FL..

I don't know if you'll be peeking in again, but it's good to see your name. I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter's situation. It must have been horrific. And your ex-wife seems to know just how to keep on giving.. in all the wrong ways.

I hope your holidays shine brightly. And if you want to revel in the holiday spirit, come on down to the Christmas show at Center Stage theatre in Shelton. I'm the one with the curly hair!


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