So here's your new title Betsey. Our last thread is still active but figured we could run them parallel for a short period of time.
I picked this title because it seems a good number of us either are searching for someone via one of the several online dating websites or are at least thinking about doing that in the near future. Since there are so many different sites available how do you know which one is right for you. There's both paid (Match, e-Harmony) and free sites (Plenty of Fish, OKCupid) out there. Sites that cater to specific age groups (Ourtime), or religous preferences (Christian Mingle, JDate), etc. There are even date type specific, i.e. JustLunch.
At one time or another, I've been on e-Harmony, Match, OKCupid, Plenty of Fish, and Ourtime. So I guess you could say I've been around the block a few times. To date, while I have had my most promising opportunities on Match, none of them have panned out to a solid long term relationship. So at some point I wonder if I have to re-evaluate what (if any) online dating website I should be using. While I am most comfortable with Match and have received the most realistic responses from women on it (versus OKCupid and Plenty of Fish which for me was just a trainwreck of scammers), I'm still searching for love and perhaps as we edge closer to the new year, it might be time to mix things up. Food for thought I guess.
I had some luck with Howaboutwe as well. If I venture online in the future, I'm going to get GG's feedback on setting up a profile. Right now, I'm just not wanting to devote any time to dating. The holidays are nigh upon us, and I'm just too busy to get derailed by that stuff.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
BA - that is the down side of the free sites, the scammers. But otherwise, I'm not sure there's much difference - at one point early on, I was on POF and Match at the same time, and kept seeing the same people on both.
I've found my best dates on OKCupid, but that's me - it does seem to skew a bit young though.
KML - Yes I too saw some similar faces on both POF, OKCupid and Match. However there were ALOT of 20 somethings reaching out to me that were clearly for unethical reasons. That's not to say it doesn't happen on Match, it's just not as prevalent.
So, speaking of dating sites, not too much new for me. I have gone out with someone new, Regina. She contacted me and after two outings seems to be interested in me, but I don't feel any sparks at this point. We are scheduled to have dinner on Thursday. My Match subscription ends at the beginning of December and right now I feel like I need to not have it renew for at least until we get into the new year. Maybe February or March might be a good time to start back up. Right now I'm not contacting anyone, just responding to those who contact me.
Today is D16's birthday - who now shall be referred to as D17! I have invited my ex-wife to join us in dinner and the birthday celebration. I appreciate the fact that we have a co-parenting arrangement that allows us to do that and without any tension whatsoever. I'll be cooking some salmon on the grill which is one of D17's favorite meals. Should be a fun evening. I went out on a limb this year and actually bought D17 a couple of tops - which I think buying teenage girls any type of clothing is a pretty gutsy move. I'll let you know if I crash and burn or if it's a success.
I'm using Sitonyourassandmeetnoone.com.It's been extremely successful. I've met absolutely no one...just as they promised! The low membership fee is pretty awesome too. I have lots of money left over for turtle food.
I was rejected by sitonyourassandmeetnoone.com. They said my profile was too ambitious and detailed and if I wasn't satisfied with being by myself how in the hell would anyone ever be satisfied with going out with me.
So the birthday dinner/celebration went off without a hitch last night. According to D17, she is on cloud 9 right now with all aspects of her life! She says, I have a wonderful family, great friends and a terrific boyfriend. I'm thrilled knowing that she is so happy with life! Oh and she LOVED the clothes that I bought her! Yes I am patting myself on the back for that one!
So the ex-W was quite talkative and in a chipper mood last night as well. She stayed for almost 3 hours and made sure to let me know how much she appreciated me cooking the dinner and inviting her to it. When she isn't her usual negative self she is actually a pleasant person to be around!
Okay, let's chat about those dating sites. I've been on: Plenty of Fish, OkCupid, Eharmony, Fitness Singles, Golfmates, Match, Chemistry, Christian Mingle, Spiritual Singles, and Ourtime.
Whew! This is all within the past two years. I've written my fair share of profiles. I think timing definitely plays a part. The man I'm seeing (yes, another Dave; this one amazing) was on Match at the same time I was this summer, but we didn't find each other. I had a sarcastic profile at that time and it had quite a different flair. So, do I think profile writing and high quality pictures have something to do with it? I think so. There are also dating 'coaches' and profile writers online. I've gotten some free advice and read a blog or two. All I know is Dave wasn't single until this past March, so timing has to play a big part in it. I also learned to delete, delete, delete. If someone isn't treating you the way you want to be treated, move on! I'm also a fan of dating breaks.
Betsey, I hope we can get together over the holidays and catch up! Too much time has passed since our last drinking and dancing episode!
Anyway, rejection is also a part of this process and I think it's confusing when your feelings aren't reciprocated. But, as one therapist told me..."Why look at that as a negative thing? It wasn't meant to be and he saved you some time."
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10