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Hi Iva
I'm glad that you've got some new friends smile
I've lost old friends as well, courtesy of H. The way I see it is if they can't stick around during the tough times, then they're not good friends.
I'm doing ok thanks smile My H has been verbally abusing me since he left so I know how you feel. It's not nice at all. I've got an appt on Friday with a women's support group. I'll let you know how I get on smile
Take care smile


H47 me48
T22 M21
S20 - Got high functioning autism
3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her
11/2000 H moves back home
2/4/13 H moves out
H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
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TryingToDo180

Good I am glad you are going to a group. I have found just getting out of the house to do whatever has been helpful because it is more difficult to discuss sitch with anyone new I am forced to think of other topics of conversation keepping me focused on more positive things.

I don't know how long hang in there. I have decided that after the holiday's if I don't hear anything I may reach out softly, but I don't want to poke the bear....if you know what I mean.
Have a great week!
IvaC

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Hi Iva
You need to do what feels right at the time, if you don't feel like reaching out then don't.
I'm glad that you're getting out of the house, finding things to do and new friends.
Hope you have a great week as well smile


H47 me48
T22 M21
S20 - Got high functioning autism
3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her
11/2000 H moves back home
2/4/13 H moves out
H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 33
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So I have been dark for over a month now and haven't heard a peep. H is still with OW. I've decided to wait until after the new year and see what happens. I see no hope in our future together. For now I am going to remain in the dark and hope that he will come around eventually, but I am going to move on without him.

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Iva,

I'm going to post back in your original thread, cause that's where the back story is. It took a bit of bouncing around to catch up on your sitch.

Here's the story, maybe more will join there now, since that's where you lay out the issues.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2385372#Post2385372

Hope others start chiming in, its a very interesting side, one we don't get to see a whole lot of to be honest. Thank you for coming forward, its some great insight for others, and don't be surprised if others pick your brain a bit.

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Fly, I've just gone to the other thread and read what you're saying. The fact that Iva's H has got an OW and he has been nasty on the phone makes me think that contact isn't a good idea. Iva I think you're doing well with the no contact personally, you'll find your own time when you do need to contact him. It's for you to decide when that will be and for you alone smile


H47 me48
T22 M21
S20 - Got high functioning autism
3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her
11/2000 H moves back home
2/4/13 H moves out
H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 33
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Thank you, 180! The silence treatment may not work either but so far nothing has. Still no contact after month and a half.

Anniversary 01/01 - he will be with OW
Birthday 01/31 - OW will be here visiting him

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Almost 3 months and no contact....don't know how long I should keep this up. I cant decide whether to file for divorce or not yet. I tend to go back and forth.....

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Perhaps you should ask a coach. The rule of thumb is that ive been told you should see changes in some for good or bad. If not try something else. Are you GAL? And are you tasking care of you?


me: 47, W:49
M 16.5 years
T 17 years
Three kids - D17,D14, S13
Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13
Bomb drop 11/29/13
W moved out 12/5/13
I Retained L 2/20/14
D filed 3/17/14
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Your thought is very similar to 2old thread - Hardened heart. He's at the same point as you, whether or not to file for D. Do you need a D? Are you seeing someone else and want to get serious with them? That will be the only time I will need a D is when I get serious with someone else and want to move on. D is an expensive process and if you can wait longer then it could be cheaper in the long run. Have a look at 2old's thread as well smile


H47 me48
T22 M21
S20 - Got high functioning autism
3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her
11/2000 H moves back home
2/4/13 H moves out
H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
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