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#2400611 11/04/13 04:55 PM
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So "Check Please" has been locked on to a new thread. I picked this title because one of the things that happens in the online dating world is that a person will either send you a quick email saying they are interested or they will "favorite" your profile or "like" one of your pictures. I have learned that this is not necessarily an indicator that they are open to communication. On more than one occasion, I've gotten an opening email from someone and when I write back (within 24 hours of their email/interest) my reply goes into the black hole of incommunicado never to be replied to. I'm sure there may be some good reasons for this just not sure what they are! crazy I mean if you don't want to hear from me then don't stick a carrot out to tempt me.

Ok - so GM, one of the reasons I wouldn't pursue a 38 year old is that most of them are not (at least usually) at the same place I am in life. They may have young kids (under 12) whereas I am within a couple years of empty nester status. They still want kids - definite dealbreaker there as I'm not interested in procreating anymore. They are in the middle of their professional career and most likely not interested in retiring in about 8 years as I am so that I can begin traveling extensively and also living in more than one area during the year. So I tend to stick with dating women who are within 8 years or so of my age.

I had a pretty good weekend. Barbara was tied up with birthday celebrations with her daughter and girlfriends all weekend so there was no time scheduled for me with her although I offered to meet her if anything popped up. Heard nothing from her the entire weekend until late last night when she sent me a short email. I'm not reading a lot into it, but honestly the signals I'm getting make me think she isn't all that interested. I'm not going to drop invovlement with her, but I'm not just standing around waiting either. She is heading to Chicago tomorrow for almost a week, so by the time she gets back, if we do make arrangements to see each other it will have been almost 2 1/2 weeks since our last date.

I golfed on Saturday morning and had a pretty nice round in some fabulous weather here. Saturday night I went to the CAPs hockey game with Marianne and we had a blast. We hit one of the local bars near the Verizon center for a pre-game drink and then saw a great hockey game (CAPs won in a shootout). Afterwards we stopped in a popular nightspot after the game. While we were there she asked me to make a pact with her that even if either one of us "finds someone" that we will still get to hang out together on a regular basis because she has so much fun with me. I told her, it would depend on who I was dating and how they felt about that. However I agree, we do have a great time when we are out. It's still a weird situation for me but I'm getting more comfortable with it.

So that's it for now.

BA

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BA,

Love the title of this thread! I love the real song and all the spoof videos that have resulted too (love the Army guys in Afghanistan the best).

I'm totally with you on the age/stage of life requirement for your next serious R. I feel the same way. I want to be with a guy who digs Boston (and I mean the music group), remembers Reaganomics, the Miracle on Ice, the civil rights movement and also has his eye on an empty nest and anticipating travel. And while he better have a decent paying job now, he can't be a workaholic. Or have a felony on his record...

I still haven't posted my profile on any sites, and probably won't contemplate until after the holidays. Life just gets too crazy this time of year for me to put any effort outside of what's going on in my house.

So I won't feel bad if you won't either. wink

Gineen made a good point of appearing a little less available. But I have to tell you personally that if you said that, I wouldn't think (at least consciously) that you were "less than" because you dig me. So take that for what it's worth. I can see why others might think you're not as independently male though. crazy

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I told her, it would depend on who I was dating and how they felt about that.


I think your answer was perfect!

We also had a gorgeous weekend, although I didn't do fun stuff like you did. I walked to the stable with D16 on Saturday and did a bunch of yard work yesterday. Still, it was nice to be outside. Warning: it got really, really cold today and we're expecting snow tomorrow. I've found out through the years that my folks typically get the same weather blow into your area a few days later. It's really sunny today, but a balmy 30 degrees. BRRRR.

Glad you got to watch a shootout (love them myself) AND win! My Avs won their 12th on Saturday night, which has me dancing a little happy dance. It's been awhile since I was this encouraged about hockey here. I had season tix before the big slide, though they were definitely on the decline. Maybe I'll contemplate next season, but I'll have to find someone to go with. D19 used to be my sidekick.

I forgot to ask my cousin about the box, so maybe we should just go ahead and buy? I'll do a poll or get Merrick to procure for us?

Anyhoo, thanks for initiating our next thread.

Hope everyone's week is off to a good start!

Betsey


"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Albert Einstein
#2400700 11/04/13 07:31 PM
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GM - IF and that's a big IF, I came across a 38 year old who was genuinely interested in me AND was at the same stage in life, then yes I would not exclude her. I agre it is all relative to where you are in life.

As for Barbara - you are probably right, I need not be as available. Damnit! frown

Sorry about your Devils - at least it is still early in the season.

BA

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Hey Betsey - Glad you like the title. Thought it was appropriate for the discussions we have been having. Yes as I mentioned to GM, I am looking for women who are in my stage of life ballpark, however I guess if a 38 year-old found me AND she definitely was in my stage of life (not sure how that would be possible but I guess I can't rule it out) then I wouldn't necessarily exclude her completely. I just don't see that happening. I'm pretty comfortable with the 47 - 56 age range. I'm pretty active and I feel I can hang pretty well with these mid-40's to early 50 something whippersnappers.

My current Match subscription expires in about a month. I've decided if Barbara and I (or someone else for that matter) have not connected and moved to a exclusively dating situation, then I'm still not going to renew it. Either way I need to take a break for 2 to 3 months before I start the process again.

Re the hockey game here - it's the one on the 27th right? Whatever works best is good for me regarding the tickets. I'm a bit of a snob and don't necessarily like sitting in the upper tier (400 level). I normally buy seats in the Acela Club (200 level). If there isn't anything that looks good there, then I'll sit in the 100 level seats or 100 level loge.

Just looked at what's available and depending on how many seats together we will need it's looking at between $90 and $120 each. Looking forward to it!

BA

#2400856 11/05/13 12:55 AM
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Hey GM - so within the last two hours I have had two 38 year old women send me an email on match! Coincidence??? smile

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I totally agree with you BA. I don't want to have to explain who Humphrey Bogart or Cary Grant were. It also seems to me that if you didn't see Jaws or Star Wars when it first came out, the guy is too young for me. I am trying to stay a few years either side of my age. I will be honest putting the 50's as a range blows me away because I forget that I really am 49.

So many if these guys on eharmony look so much older than they are! This one guys first picture was kind of cute. The second picture, half is hair was gone and wrinkles were hiding. Why do people do that?? Be honest.

I am no where near as skinny as I like to remember myself as but I am not posting pictures of me in my 20's!

kat


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Just popping in to say Hi. Great discussions though I haven't seen a Hockey Game in a while.

I wanted someone a couple years younger or older than me. It didn't end up that way. I'm 57 - he is 50. There is very little that we don't "get" about each other. When I talk about something from my kid years that he can't relate to - it is usually because he grew up in England rather than the age difference.

I agree with what Gineen said, BA, about being so available yet I can honestly say I'd have said it too. Just who I am.

Anyway, I just had Ryan with me in Disney for the past 8 days. I had 2 workers with me but it was still a really busy, tiring week bit SO worth it! Lots of grins and happiness. I found myself getting really Geary when they boarded the bus to the airport yesterday.

I have some business & fun in Orlando for a couple more days then off to my condo for some beach time. Josh is very busy at work with 5 projects ongoing but he is going to try to get down for a few days (maybe just a long weekend). At any rate - I still get so excited about the condo & cannot wait to get there.

& I agree about taking dating breaks during the holidays - unless there is already something coming together.

BA - I forget why you are not "dating" Marianne. I think she is into you.

Barb

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Great weekend updates everyone! Sounds like we're all moving into the holiday season with lots to be thankful for.

I went out on Friday with John from the previous Sat night. He's a nice guy, but broke. He told me "I'm broke." He over extended himself in the real estate boom and then it crashed. He's now in an apt. with his cat and can't afford cable. Yikes. I just can't do that at age 52. Sigh...

Met a guy on Sunday to hit some golf balls. He's 61. I've never dated anyone that old before. He looked great, positive energy, financially solid. We'll see. Age is a funny thing and I'm not quite sure what to think of it. So, I'm trying not to.

I think it's great to take dating 'breaks.' It helps you clear your mind and figure out what you're looking for.


Me 55
H 49
Married 21 years
No kids
bomb 5/09
filed 7/09
divorced and moving forward 5/10

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Hey All!

I feel like a whole bunch of all the DB stuff and relationship advise in general is just silly. It seems it is all just gamesmanship.

When BA told Barbara he was available if any free time popped up, he was telling her he was flexible. And if she really wanted to see him she would have "flexed" some time for him.

I keep feeling like if I met the right person I wouldn't have to work so hard for it. When things have worked out for me in the past, the people who were interested in me made time to see me. I worked full time starting when I was 16. I had two jobs when I met my X and was attending college full-time. He made time to see me. And it was never forced. I know we are older, but in many ways I have move free time now.

But GG has a point about broke guys. I just can't deal with that right now.

Great thread title. My son calls it people who go : POOF !!! Must not be real people, they just evaporate after they message, smile or favor you!


Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32
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Barb, Marianne told BA he was too nice and cut him loose a while back. Now she wants to be friends.

Relationships are hard enough, you shouldn't have it so rough in the get go. I think none of us should settle. We have been through he!! and back. We all deserve what we are looking for.

Forward on and email me maybe. Lol. I couldn't resist.

kat


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Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
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