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A Message from Michele
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Re: And the beat goes on..! [Re: AnotherStander] #2410081
12/02/13 06:28 PM
12/02/13 06:28 PM
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 565
Northeast US
P
Positivespin Offline
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Positivespin  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 565
Northeast US
YOU ARE AWESOME MY DEAR FRIEND!!!!!!

smile

You have no idea how much I appreciate you. He didnt deserve you and Pianoman is one very lucky SOB!


ME 38 W 37
T18 M5
D3
BD 1/7/13
PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing
2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13
W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13
First mediation appt 12/19/13


Re: And the beat goes on..! [Re: Positivespin] #2411502
12/06/13 04:51 AM
12/06/13 04:51 AM
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,001
L
littleGTO Offline OP
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littleGTO  Offline OP
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Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,001
Awwwww, LOVE to come here and FEEL ALL THE LOVE!!!!

Thanks, PS...you are soooo very sweet! You are amazing too & I know some lucky girl will come your way and you will have a new life of great memories to create ahead!!

AS- True detachment...hmmm....sometimes I wonder if I'll ever really get there. It seems that stbxh is really stressing me out every time we interact...he keeps pressing and pressing about the child custody situation. But, this is about my kids and I think that's where the emotions are stemming from mostly. Crying more recently when I think of how things will be changing-- it's scary for me to think of not having the boys as I do now. I know I will be okay when we've all had time to adjust, but I don't want to agree to the "wrong" things in the divorce concerning the boys.

It's hard to think about not having the boys as much as I do now. The sad thing is I do think they need to see him more. But, for me I feel like I am giving up being a full-time mommy then. BUt, recently I have not been doing as well when it comes to "being present" with them.--- two reasons-- the divorce and pianoman.

I feel selfish about having a new relationship...but it feels SO good to be with him and talk to him! It's just been so long and I have always known that I would not live my life without a partner...I'm not saying it will be pianoman--who knows! But, I am saying I think I am just meant to be part of a team/ of a loving, healthy relationship. And, pianoman is definitely filling a void I've had for a very long time.

I can't really say I am applying DBing any more with stbxh...our interactions are about as tense and heated as they've ever been. I get emotional thinking about sad it is that the boys parents will never be together again--their family is broken...and I will never know for sure how this will impact their lives and their relationships.

BTW- health concerns are still annoying me- lol! Getting some further tests...hope for the best, because I feel like if I can live through a broken heart I can live through anything!!!


M- 18 T-21
S-14,11 & 10
BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA)
H moved out 11-3-2012
10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life.
11-25-13 Jointly filed.
Re: And the beat goes on..! [Re: littleGTO] #2411546
12/06/13 11:43 AM
12/06/13 11:43 AM
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 2,695
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JuneReN Offline
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JuneReN  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 2,695
Let me know about the tests...you know I'm only a five coffee drive away wink

Sorry to hear about the stress with the D, but if you apply some of the DB again you won't spend your life in jail after you've smacked him with the whack-a-spouse

Love you!!

Re: And the beat goes on..! [Re: littleGTO] #2412650
12/09/13 07:56 PM
12/09/13 07:56 PM
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 8,098
A
AnotherStander Offline
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AnotherStander  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 8,098
Originally Posted By: littleGTO

AS- True detachment...hmmm....sometimes I wonder if I'll ever really get there. It seems that stbxh is really stressing me out every time we interact...he keeps pressing and pressing about the child custody situation.


I think you'll get there after the D, but D does have a way of reopening a lot of old wounds that we thought were healed.

Quote:
Crying more recently when I think of how things will be changing-- it's scary for me to think of not having the boys as I do now. I know I will be okay when we've all had time to adjust, but I don't want to agree to the "wrong" things in the divorce concerning the boys.


I doubt there are many D's where either party comes out thinking they have "won". You can't be made "whole" again and neither can your H. It's like my C told me after S, you have to find your "new normal". Things like this are life-changing and we really don't like our lives to be constantly disrupted! But look at it this way, once the D is done your H no longer has the power to disrupt your life anymore unless you let him. This is his "last hurrah" as it were. Afterwards you'll find your new normal, then the next "disruption" will be a good one- piano man or some other hottie laugh

Quote:
It's hard to think about not having the boys as much as I do now. The sad thing is I do think they need to see him more. But, for me I feel like I am giving up being a full-time mommy then.


I felt the same way at S, I went from having the kids 100% of the time (with W) to having them every other week. It IS a tough adjustment, but eventually I learned to enjoy the weeks to myself and started doing things that I never had time for before. I also find that when I do have them I am much more attentive to them than I was when I was around them all the time.

Good luck with the health concerns, I hope it's nothing!


Me: 59 w/ S17, D23, D26
Current R: 4 years
Previous M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:56
Re: And the beat goes on..! [Re: AnotherStander] #2413667
12/11/13 09:56 PM
12/11/13 09:56 PM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 2,202
US
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BrightFuture Offline
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BrightFuture  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 2,202
US
GTO, good to see you getting your life in order. The D is hard, but I think you are coming to terms with it. I hope your health concerns will resolve. Im jealous about your dating. I wish I could bring myself to start doing it. Im getting closer though.

I wish you lots of luck.


M:50
H:52
S28 (my S from previous marriage)
M:17 + 3
BD: 06/12
S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Re: And the beat goes on..! [Re: BrightFuture] #2414140
12/13/13 04:28 AM
12/13/13 04:28 AM
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,001
L
littleGTO Offline OP
Member
littleGTO  Offline OP
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Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,001
Thanks, BF! The D is rough-- everything is evolving...the holidays are different too. Part of me is ready for these changes and part of me is not. Change is hard.

Dating is great! smile I'm really enjoying dating pianoman..he is so attentive and our dates are lots of fun!

My friends here, I am going over to the Surviving the Big D forum...as it seems to fit where I am now...definitely NOT a newcomer- LOL!

I'll check in with my friends here from time to time, but need to be over there now!!! :)))


M- 18 T-21
S-14,11 & 10
BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA)
H moved out 11-3-2012
10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life.
11-25-13 Jointly filed.
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