I used to LIVE on this board from 2006 through my year in Iraq 07-08, and through my divorce in 2010! Four long years in hell!
I am now happily remarried to a great woman that I met upon my return from Iraq in 2008. Things are really good there, but my XW can't help but try everything she can to make my life miserable. Usually it's by inflicting financial pain such as going back to court to get her off my payroll after she moved in with her boss who she started seeing "for comfort" when I was in Iraq.
After she took the whole thing through a Rube Goldberg apparatus, it cost me 15K to stop alimony, even though cohabitation was specified in my final decree as a reason to stop alimony! Nothing is ever linear.
More than one suggestion has been made that she suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder, where they can't let go of anything and must win at all cost, even if they are the one who wanted out, as she was (I hate you, don't leave me!)
She continues to use my son, now 15 as a hostage, and hits me with every extracurricular cost you can think of. I went to court on that one last year as well and LOST. She makes every weekend he's with me a tension convention.
Now I have to haggle over my military pension with her which was not settled in court.
She will do anything she can to rent space in my new marriage, and is quite successful in pi$$ing off my new wife. It makes for a very uncertain environment.
I'll be back at some point! Some of you oldies are still here!
She was supposed to get 53% of it (Galling, but the price of freedom!).
We had to pay some actuary how to divide it which we did...however, according to law, "if it is not specifically stated in the decree that a former spouse gets to be the Survivor Beneficiery, you are free to designate whoever you'd like as the beneficiery"
The divorce negates her previous right to it, as she is no longer my spouse, and IT WAS NOT STATED AT ALL THAT SHE GETS TO BE THE BENEFICIERY IF I TAKE A DIRT NAP.
My new wife is the benficiery at this time, so you can see where the fun begins.
In addition, my middle daughter attempted suicide while at school last year, so that slammed the breaks on everything. (That became yet another horror show with XW)
Here's what I've learned through the wonderous entity called Family Court: EVEN IF IT'S WRITTEN PLAINLY, UNAMBIGUOSLY IN PLAIN BLACK AND WHITE, it still appealable.
Being her usual "Win at All Costs, Scorched Earth" person that she is, you can bet she will appeal this as her divine right. NOTHING IS EVER A LINEAR PROCESS WITH HER, AND IT'S NEVER ABOUT "WHAT IT'S ABOUT"!
Case in point: My decree clearly stated that if she cohabitated, she was no longer eligible for alimony. When she moved in with her paramour, I thought I had hit the jackpot!
When we went to court, she requested $2400/month for three months, because she was "having trouble renting her house".
My attorney (who should have worked for my XW) told me:
"The court will look at whether her conditions have improved by cohabitiating"
When I mentioned she moved in with her boss in a 2.5 million dollar home, my attorney still stated: "You can never be certain where the judge will come down" WTF?
I ended up having to pay her $800 a month for three months while she rented the house on my attorney's advice, so I wouldn't look heartless. By the way, the reason she had difficulty renting it was because she never advertised it until after she got the $800/month!
Bottome line: It cost me $15,000 in legal costs to get what should have been a no-brainer due to her consistent roadblocks; accusations on non re-imbursed medical expenses, not paying for her gas when she took my daughter back to college, on and on...............
Next time, I'll discuss why I haven't seen my son in a month.
Here's the big question: She wanted out of our marriage in the worst of all possible ways, but can't ever go away from me. Why?
