or CALL 303-444-7004 to get started right away!

 

 


A Divorce Busting® Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.


Save your marriage singlehandedly!
Divorce Busting Telephone Coaching DISCOUNT
SAVE$40 -- 3-SESSIONS for ONLY $350
- valid until June30

CALL 303-444-7004
or to order online at the Divorce Busting Store
use code SAVE$40

A Message from Michele
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 6 of 11 1 2 4 5 6 7 8 10 11
Re: Rise & Shine - Need Support [Re: Pudmuddle] #2399517
10/31/13 04:30 PM
10/31/13 04:30 PM
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 697
3
3boymom Offline OP
Member
3boymom  Offline OP
Member
3
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 697
Thanks Pud and AS! I was having a bad morning. After I wrote it down and got my emotions out, I felt better. Your responses help even more smile I know that this is a long journey and I am just at the beginning. While it has been over a year since things really went down hill, it has only been one month (to the day actually) since I really started DB. One month ago, H and I could not be in the same room. Many things have changed for the better.

Thank you for pointing out that I should not assume that H will keep her in our lives if he ever does come around. I guess that I really should not rely upon anything that H says, regarding me or OW.

Re: Rise & Shine - Need Support [Re: 3boymom] #2399686
11/01/13 03:02 AM
11/01/13 03:02 AM
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 697
3
3boymom Offline OP
Member
3boymom  Offline OP
Member
3
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 697
Totally backslide tonight in front of H. Someone stole the kids pumpkin last night. H went with OW to get a new pumpkin for kids. He claimed he needed a ride and that is why he called her. Yet he did not call me to get the pumpkin but could call me when he needed me to pick him up to go trick or treating with the kids. For some reason i could not hold back the tears. Dont ask me why this got to me when other worse stuff i was able to handle better. Ughh this is so hard. I guess I felt used. He is playing me and I am letting it happen.

Re: Rise & Shine - Need Support [Re: 3boymom] #2399704
11/01/13 03:32 AM
11/01/13 03:32 AM
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,583
Los Angeles
L
luvless Offline
Member
luvless  Offline
Member
L
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,583
Los Angeles
You have to stand up for yourself. Start getting your ducks in a row…finances, copies of statements/income. Don't get caught off guard. In the meantime try to focus on you and the kids. Trust me I know this is damn hard but you must do it.

Yes…he is playing you.


M44 H41
M20 T23
3 older teens
Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy"
EA Nov 09 w/coworker
Another PA in Mar 10
I Filed Apr 10
D final Dec 10
Re: Rise & Shine - Need Support [Re: luvless] #2399749
11/01/13 10:46 AM
11/01/13 10:46 AM
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 697
3
3boymom Offline OP
Member
3boymom  Offline OP
Member
3
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 697
Thanks luvless! I really need some 2 x 4s to get me moving forward on a good path for myself.

Re: Rise & Shine - Need Support [Re: 3boymom] #2399761
11/01/13 11:44 AM
11/01/13 11:44 AM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,763
P
Pudmuddle Offline
Member
Pudmuddle  Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,763
3, sometimes it is the little things that hit you because they used to have more meaning and now it is different.

This is so hard, so very hard. Remember to take care of you and cry if you need to.

You can do this. Keep going one minute, hour, day at a time.


Me:49 H:47
S: 16
T:27 M:25
My EA: 2001
His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013
Separated, but H still in house

Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.


Re: Rise & Shine - Need Support [Re: Pudmuddle] #2399764
11/01/13 12:14 PM
11/01/13 12:14 PM
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 310
USA
K
kelela Offline
Member
kelela  Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 310
USA
I know what you are going through I'm going through the same thing to my H OW is also an alcoholic too from what I hear. Your story is my story I need to do what you are doing I'm still having a really hard time letting go. But after what I just saw on FB its time for me to move on and stop holding on to hope.


M:42
H:37
M:14yrs
S:13; S:9
Found out PA:8/2012
2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013
H asked for D:6/2013
H moved out: 8/2013
H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
Re: Rise & Shine - Need Support [Re: kelela] #2399765
11/01/13 12:25 PM
11/01/13 12:25 PM
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 697
3
3boymom Offline OP
Member
3boymom  Offline OP
Member
3
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 697
Pud - Thank you so much. Your posts always lift me up and give me strength to keep moving forward.

kelela - I am so sorry that you are in a similar position. Letting go is so hard.

Re: Rise & Shine - Need Support [Re: Pudmuddle] #2399956
11/01/13 10:16 PM
11/01/13 10:16 PM
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 697
3
3boymom Offline OP
Member
3boymom  Offline OP
Member
3
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 697
I have been avoiding the holidays but need to start a discussion with H about plans. I want to be proactive so that H does not wait until last minute and push me into something I am not comfortable with. So I need a plan in advance and need help.

We used to split Thanksgiving between his family and my family. H initially said things would not change this year. Then H said he dors kot want to go to my family. Our extended family does not know about separation so what we decide could force us to tell everyone and honestly am not sure if I want that.

H knows that I am not willing to split the kids for the holidays. Not sure I believe that he won't pull that card if I don't agree with exactly what he wnts. How much do I push the issue? Do I tell H that if he does not want to do both families than I will just do Thanksgiving at my house and H can come if he wants? Do I go yo his family and then go to mine without him?

Re: Rise & Shine - Need Support [Re: 3boymom] #2399994
11/02/13 01:53 AM
11/02/13 01:53 AM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,763
P
Pudmuddle Offline
Member
Pudmuddle  Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,763
My thought is...

What do YOU want to do? What would the kids want to do? YOU decide want 3 wants and then do it. Tell H what the plans are and he can choose to do it with you or not. Do what makes you the happiest for the holidays. wink


Me:49 H:47
S: 16
T:27 M:25
My EA: 2001
His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013
Separated, but H still in house

Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.


Re: Rise & Shine - Need Support [Re: Pudmuddle] #2400132
11/02/13 07:44 PM
11/02/13 07:44 PM
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 697
3
3boymom Offline OP
Member
3boymom  Offline OP
Member
3
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 697
It is so hard for me because I am always trying to make everyone else happy. I hate conflict. I am getting better at taking care of my needs. I still struggle with being assertive. I need to work on it because that would be a huge 180 for me.

Page 6 of 11 1 2 4 5 6 7 8 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

Save Your Marriage! Schedule Online

Schedule a phone consultation with a Divorce Busting® Coach! Call: 800-664-2435 or 303-444-7004