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Since it's nearly time for a lock, thought it would be good to get the next thread ready for business.

We last left off by discussing who pays for what? And how soon?

BA should really be hosting this thread, as he seems to be the one with the most skin in the game. And we haven't heard from GG in awhile either. Maybe with school starting, she's horrifically busy. I'm home on a Friday night, waiting for the phone to ring while D16 snoozes. Nope, I'm waiting on D19. She is back at her dorm, unpacking, and a little bit depressed. I think after 10 days of lake and beach fun, after a decent summer that reality has set in. She said she's calling me tonight because she wants to chat. It's good because I'm in a reflective and somber mood. A good one to listen.

I lost a childhood friend to kidney disease today. He was my age, and my old school pals and I are sad and contemplative. At 51 I'm sure there are more to come. But it's just made me feel really bummed today. I wish I had the time and money to head home for his funeral. But my parents will represent the family well.

So I'm taking a page out of Gineen's book and having a glass of wine. There may be one more later.

Carry on, everyone. I know you have good stuff to mull. Can't wait.

Betsey


"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Albert Einstein
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betsey-

im so sorry for your loss... smirk

enjoy your wine and your down time. losing someone is always so....idk..hard? weird? sad? all of those and then some?

Clay


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Betsey,

I'm also sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. It does not get easier ever.

I will buy this round. Have a nice Merlot open tonight, we had lamb for dinner overlooking the lake and later watched the lit up steamship sail buy as we lazed in the hot tub.

Life is grand!

Barb

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Bets, sorry to hear of your loss. You do need a stiff drink on this one.

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Betsey,
So sorry to hear of your loss today. I did, however, enjoy your post about your daughter. What a tribute to your family...
Hope all is well in your world; it's been a few rough weeks for you. frown

I've been busy getting ready for the school year. I'm excited in a way I haven't been for almost 3 years. I'm focused, healthy, and happy. Whew! It took awhile folks, but I think I've arrived.

The "Summer of Love" has all but waned for me. Dave continues to be there, but not in the way I need him to be. It seems like he's just going through the motions of dating because he's supposed to be a year after his divorce. I'm feeling like he's nowhere near ready. Sad...I think it will be awhile before he can move forward and that makes me a bit more guarded and not open; I don't like that.

BUT! I took a risk today and sort of asked someone out. I hope that's appropriate?? Are guys okay with that these days? Anyway, he took my number and we'll see...


Me 55
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Well GG, you hit a chord with me on the above post. I believe I am guilty of dating because I think I'm supposed to. That gives me some stuff to think on.

I was thinking about the who pays thing tonight, when I was driving home. I paid for my own two drinks I had while out this evening. Several drinks were offered, I declined, and I am thinking it is a sign of not being ready to date.

Either that or I am just way to independent!


Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32
D final 9/12
Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
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GG: it is perfectly appropriate to ask out a guy that you are interested in. It works both ways.

As for Dave - is it really him who is not as into you or is it that your expectations are a bit off. It really did seem like you were really into him. Did he pull back a bit after your "talk" last week? If so - maybe he feels he is not living up to your expectations. At any rate - if he is a nice guy & you enjoy his company - why end it? I don't get that.

Barb

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Barb,
He is a nice guy and I do enjoy his company, but it already feels complacent and kind of boring to me. It's almost as if Thursday night rolls around and I get the obligatory text asking if I still want to get together? It all seems so "business like." Where's the fun, playful, flirty message of "I can't wait to see you." I sent him a playful text and got back a 'logical' response. It's becoming obvious to me that he either doesn't have that side or doesn't want to show it to me. I want a guy who can be playful and make me laugh (BA and wii seem to have no problem in this department). I've dated guys like Dave before and I end up getting frustrated and even a bit mad that they can't just be fun and playful. My xh was not a playful guy and I want different this time; I know I can't settle.

Another thing is that I'm ending up planning everything because he doesn't know of places to go. Our talk last week revealed that he has few friends, works from home, and really doesn't go out that much. The exact opposite of me! Again, another similarity with my xh who never wanted to go anywhere or do anything. Did I resonate with Dave simply because he brought back that old safe and familiar feeling? I'm having to think about that because I don't want what I had.


Me 55
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bomb 5/09
filed 7/09
divorced and moving forward 5/10

Life is all about Plan B
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I forgot to mention that last week he said that after his second marriage ended a year ago he dated because he was "bored." Hmm...is that still the case?


Me 55
H 49
Married 21 years
No kids
bomb 5/09
filed 7/09
divorced and moving forward 5/10

Life is all about Plan B
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I think I mentioned before that IMHO if a guy is into you he will pursue! He will think of ways to contact you, amuse you, and keep himself in your thoughts. Dave has never struck me as one who does that and you want to be romanced!. If he acts like you've been married for ten years then who really wants that after a few dates. But maybe he's just a different kind of guy...yet the only guys I know who don't actively pursue are usually not that into it. I say, go with your gut. But, if you find every guy you date is the "problem" then you've got something to look at about yourself as well and maybe, as Barb has suggested, your expectations are too high. Who knows? This dating thing is an enigma inside of an enigma to me lol.


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
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