If you make that shirt make sure you save one for me. I prefer black, not white.
S had a soccer tournament today. H called in the am and told me to make sure I brought a sweatshirt for D. I had planned on it anyway but I just let him think he was helping me out. I silently rolled my eyes.
H responded to my attorney's letter by saying he was (as they apparently say in the engineering business) "taking a shot across the bow" to get our attention. He said he was perfectly aware my "male friend" was completely innocent and he was "showing us how it felt to have a perfectly innocent situation turned into a sordid affair". Insert huge eyeroll here. That situation and this response deserves no more discussion from me. The whole thing is ridiculous and I don't believe for a minute H "knew the truth the entire time". Talk about backpedaling.
I am still angry about the ring situation. Not only because I'm emotional my husband gave another woman an engagement ring before our divorce was final, but because he has the absolute gall to spend money buying this woman jewelry and buy new TVS and stuff for his car. But yet we don't have the money to pay for S's soccer. I'm supposed to borrow money from my mom to pay for it. I am stranded on the side of the Toll Road with our two children in the car in the dead of winter with a flat tire and he tells me to borrow money from my mom to fix my car.
And now OW is receiving mail at this address? "The future mrs. H"?
H had his tail between his legs today. He kept looking at me. Trying to get me to engage in conversation. I kept it civil. Only conversations about the kids. Few words were spoken. I feel like a hypocrite being nice to him. I really do.
He did end up staying at the house tonight. I am guessing since S has a Game at 10:00 tomorrow he didn't feel like driving up to OW's and back so early. I'm kind of surprised by that. But then again I don't care. I would rather he be gone, but it's not "his day" so he's keeping his distance. I'm hoping he will be gone tomorrow after the game. A little of H goes a long way.
You're right AJ. These discoveries may be painful at first, but really works in breaking the connection.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
WH, I hope today is a good day for you. You've had a number of days recently of being "beaten up" so to speak. As for the mail, document what you've seen, especially the letter from the Diamond place.
Yes, your h back pedaled when your attorney fired off a response. The remark your h made about getting attention is absolutely correct...but unfortunately, he made him look like a bigger fool than he already is. He better watch himself because when it comes to court time, your lawyer just may pull that rabbit out of the hat and your h will look like the fool in front of the judge. I don't think any judge will tolerate a lot of bs when it comes to divorce and support issues, especially when one party hasn't been cooperating at all.
Of course, he's walking around w/his tail between his legs...he got his hands smacked about accusing you of being w/om and other things. I'm glad your lawyer responded so quickly to him. That little trick didn't work for him, so he'll have to think up another one...but you and your lawyer will tackle that one when it comes along.
For today, find something enjoyable to do...even if it's sitting outside eating an ice cream cone. You deserve a day of peace.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I'm only going to address a few of the financial issues of your situation. I read along on some poster's things from time to time.
1) You can pull a free credit report once a year. The only time pulling your report counts against you is a hard credit check....like from a furniture store, car place, an apartment complex checking your credit. You can do this today online. Do this today! I can not say this strongly enough to you.
2) Even if your husband is secondary on your credit card, AND you take him off .....he can still use the same card as the one he has, has the same number as yours. The only way to prevent this issue is you have to cancel the account and open another one, in your own name. Now, the credit card company you are with will do this for you and it won't effect your credit because they already have info on you. Just call them and tell them you lost your credit card and you want to open another account but you only need one card in Your name only.
HOpe that helps....your H is an a$$!
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Thanks Snodderly. He is really a piece of work. He is at this tournament just shooting comments off at the mouth about how the kids should be doing this, or doing that. Like he is some professional soccer player/coach type. It gets under my skin. Not because he is H, but at these soccer games all loud mouthed know it all parents irritate me.
I'm so irritated with him spending this money on this woman. I really hope the courts see him for what he really is.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
WH, I forgot to mention that you should have made a copy of the letter from the Diamond store or better yet, took it and hid it away until you needed it. I'm sure it would have driven him nuts to know that it was missing. LOL!
Maybe he will lose his voice today from all of the shouting. I don't like people like that either. It actually is a distraction for the parents and kids and ruins the day for all.
Hang in there!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
You're right Sandy. Absolutely right. There are so many issues to address with the attorney. So many things and too little time and everything is crucial and critical.
With that I need to start a new thread.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Oh, I can. A large majority of them are this way. I still can't believe the letter came to your address. That is too much. He must have run home and got the mail to ensure you didn't see it.
You might want to think about making a list of the things you need to do. Sandy is right about the joint credit card. Call the Visa or Master Card company and advise them that you've misplaced the card you want to have the balance rolled over into a new account with a new number. They will do that for you and will cancel out the old account number. I did that and boy I'm glad I did. My xh went out the next week and tried to use both old joint account cards and was told that they had been reported lost. He was hopping mad. Now, what was funny is that he told his lawyer he didn't have a credit card, but when I did a credit report...there say a new Capital One Card with a $7,000 limit. I gave the report to my lawyer and told him I wasn't handing over any cards to him because I had cut up the old ones and showed him the pieces. He laughed and said he would have loved to have been behind him at the store when he tried to use them.
Sometimes you have to do things to protect yourself and your assets. They force you to do some drastic things, things that you would never have done in the past.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Those two things can be done on the weekend at midnight! Fast and easy.....probably two of the least time consuming protect yourself things you can do.
You might as well find out where you stand credit wise because when you go to rent they are going to pull your credit anyway and you need a full picture.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
I'm not up-to-date on your whole situation, but if your H is spending money on the OW, then this should be subtracted first from any division of $$ from a D. I live in a no-fault state that divides everything 50/50, but if one spouse spends a lot of $$ just prior to D, then this is taken into account. So you should keep track of any money spent on the OW and this should be subtracted from his half.
It doesn't heal any emotion wounds or make up for what he's done, but it is fair.
