I have been reading different opinions on Retrovaille and that’s the reason I have startet this thread. I would like to hear from people that have opinions on Retrovaille. I think this could benefit a lot of us so this thread is dedicated to this topic.
Many seems to believe that Retrovaille is a good start when a couple on mutual agreement has startet working on R and moved into piecing.
Fewer, but still some, seems to believe that Retro can be an element in getting closer to piecing and that only one of the two needs to feel like going.
I have spoken with the people behind Retrovaille in UK and they believe that as long as one part wants to do it, then if possible you should go. They even help to persuade the part that doesn’t want to come by talking to them on the phone.)
What to believe? Opinions?
Me:44 W:43 D7, D5 (S11 from other R)
T: 8y - not M ILYB: 8. Mar 2013 W moved: 1. Aug 2013 LRT: 20. Aug 2013 _______________________________ Do or do not – there’s no try.
Try doing a search on these forums using keyword "Retrouvaille" (note the "u") and you'll find lots of good info about it here.
Personally I don't feel it's effective if one spouse is a WAS and not interested in reconciling. It's fantastic for couples that are having trouble but in which both are at least partly interested in reconciling. That said, there was one hosting couple at ours in which the H was a WAH and was dragged kicking and screaming into it and they did end up reconciling. But he did say they had to go twice, the first time didn't "take" with him. They ended up attending again about a year later.
My W was actually the one that signed us up, she said she wanted to try at the M. She really gave it a good effort, but shortly after the program she inexplicably changed her mind right back again.
