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Joined: Jun 2013
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Its nice to know that this not an unusual feeling. I live in another country and i hence feel removed from any help from someone overseas.
i have all micheles books and found them invaluable.

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I have always had in the back of my mind that i would write my ex a letter. I apologised a lot when my marriage ended for the affair i had. We spent a few turbulent years trying to get the marriage back but it never worked. Time and distance has allowed me to see EXACTLY the pain I caused with the affair. Although i was sorry initially it was probanly more bout me.

If I wrote a sincere letter now, should I raise the topic of "what if " and could we try again?

Remembering he lives with a 'FRIEND ' and i have a boyfriend

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No you shouldn't.

If you write your x and apology letter... let that be what it is.

No other motives and no expectations.


M(f): 40
D'ed: 8/12

Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.

Love at all costs because you are loved well.
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If I received a letter from my x and he mentioned trying again, I would not take it serious at all if he were involved with someone else in any way.

Does you boyfriend know that you still have thoughts of getting back with your x? Don't you think that is something he has the right know?


Me 54
DS19 and DS17
Married 06/1989
Divorced 01/2011
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Both of you are correct.

My letter will be an apology only.

As for my current relationship I am ina quandry. I am a much better partner with my current boyfriend. I am someone my husband deserved to have. I feel i wanted him to know how changed i am , i want my family back together ( for my kids sake ). I never did not love my xh I just grew bored and i blamed him for that. I know that was incorrect and after much soul searching and book reading I changed, I matured.

what to do now , I dont know. I am stuck, cant move forward and I cant go back.

Here I sit.

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I'm sorry that you are hurting dustmeoff, I hope you will find peace soon.


Me 54
DS19 and DS17
Married 06/1989
Divorced 01/2011
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