The onion is my life: peeling away the bad & leaving the good (well that's the point of the exercise anyway).
Ruby, bug and busting thanx for the comments. I am trying to change, sometimes it feels like I'm running in mud up to my knees. I feel like I'm working my hiney parts off and not getting anywhere. I know and can feel some of the changes and when they become the new normal I look at all the changes I want to make and at times it seems overwhelming. One step at a time, one breath at a time, one feeling at a time.
I wanna do a workshop like EE, I read 25mlc talking about alot. I'm going to save some $$ and hopefully make that happen this fall. I should have some hotel points and maybe enough southwest points to get the airfare and hotel for nada. Yep I'm cheap like that.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
I have thought about the blow up at work. When we are both in the shop, I am going to sit down with the guy and apologize. I will apologize for not reacting in the way that I wanted/should have in that situation. I will say something along the line of " Please forgive my rude behavior the other day. I should not have cursed and told you that you need to go home and take a nap. I apologize please forgive me". Then I will ask him what led up to him getting upset and then I will listen and validate as best as I can. H.E.A.T. i hope my question will go along the lines of " I understand you were upset and I am curious what actions from me upset you"? Then I will try to get this little nugget in which is a boundary for me. " I would appreciate it if in the future you would not curse at me. It makes me feel attacked and uncomfortable. If it happens again I will simply walk away and suggest to the owner that we terminate your position. If I upset you please come to me so we can discuss the issue".
Over the top or right on?
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
Cool on the Harley, what are you going to get? Back in the old days you couldn't just walk in and buy one, you had to get on a waiting list! I have an 07 Street Glide that I bought used and a 92 Sporty I bought new. I had to wait 5 months for the Sporty! It arrived just before we got married and we loaded it in the back of my truck drove up to Missouri to get married and then honeymooned in Arkansas on the way back and unloaded the Sporty and rode it around all over the place. Ahhhh, memories of less troubled times I still have that Sporty, it may outlast my M, LOL! I actually bought the Street Glide (before BD) so we could do a ride on our 20th anniversary. Then came BD, and no ride for the big 2-0. Later W told me she was scared to death at the thought of going on a ride for our anniversary because she didn't want us to both get killed and leave the kids parentless. I've ridden 35 years without an accident, but there ya go.
I think its a positive step to initiate this convo with the guy. Have you had the conversation yet? (not sure of the time differences between me and you).
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Strangly, your new title made me hungry and wanting to ride!!
I agree with busting, that it's a positive to talk to the guy at work.
AS-I'm in Missouri, friend. Rides are beautiful here.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
AS-I'm in Missouri, friend. Rides are beautiful here.
Absolutely! Wife is from Lousiana, Missouri if you know where that is, on the Mississippi near Bowling Green? My MIL had a convertible Mustang back then and we'd go visit and cruise the backroads up around Hannibal and Quincy, really amazing roads, especially beautiful in the Fall. We got engaged in Hannibal and a year later got married in Lousiana. But we've always lived in Texas and after our first was born the in-laws moved here to be near us, so we never get to go up there anymore unfortunately.
One of our dearest friends has a farm in Louiana and H is from outside of Hannibal. Know the areas well.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
I'm going to start with a sportster, found one I like and that fits me. I can also afford it and darn it I want a Harley
Originally Posted By: bustingout
I think its a positive step to initiate this convo with the guy. Have you had the conversation yet? (not sure of the time differences between me and you).
Not yet I have been in Pittsburg working this week. I hopefully will see him on Thursday.
I'm in Tennessee and sandwiched right nice between Missouri and Louisiana. I actually do some work in MO.
Well... the only time my wife calls is to talk about the divorce. She just called me and said she is having her lawyer draw up the papers now. She was questioning me about how much I pay for health insurance for our daughter, like I lied about the amount. Her lawyer said that was an impossible amount. I said well that's your lawyers job to screw me over. I will have the insurance company send proof, REALLY!!!!!
So she is moving forward and I am as well. This latest did not hurt as much as in the past and really if she is not happy with me she needs to go pursue happiness in the way that she needs to.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
One of our dearest friends has a farm in Louiana and H is from outside of Hannibal. Know the areas well.
Wow, small world!! The chances are good your friend knows my wife or mother-in-law, most people that have lived in that area any length of time are at least familiar with others' names. My MIL and FIL used to own a video store in Louisiana, so they knew just about everyone in town. FIL also held some political positions there although right now I can't remember what. FIL has since passed away. They lived there for over 40 years. W lived there until moving to Texas after college.
Originally Posted By: subguy
I'm going to start with a sportster, found one I like and that fits me. I can also afford it and darn it I want a Harley
Cool, which model? I love the blacked out look of the Nightster and the Iron 883, more than once I've considered getting rid of my old Sporty and getting one. They're fun bikes, the newer Sportys have rubber-mounted engines so are much smoother than the older ones like mine. Mine isn't much fun on the freeway for very long due to the vibrations, but the Street Glide is a total pleasure on the freeway so I use the Glide for cruising and the Sporty for short hops
Good for you, I like approach you will take with coworker. Owning and taking responsibility for your S*it is always a good feeling, isn't it?
I like the response, except there is a lot of apologizing in the first half and make it clear that you are apologizing for your reaction and you are asking forgiveness for your reaction, and not letting him off the hook for his behaviour either>
I still have that Sporty, it may outlast my M, LOL! I actually bought the Street Glide (before BD) so we could do a ride on our 20th anniversary. Then came BD, and no ride for the big 2-0. Later W told me she was scared to death at the thought of going on a ride for our anniversary because she didn't want us to both get killed and leave the kids parentless. I've ridden 35 years without an accident, but there ya go.