Filling out financial discovery statements today for a looming settlement court appearance.
Laying out the history of such matters means that stbx is depicted as a fraud and a thief.
Hard to put any other spin on it.
I still don't think he actually meant to do what he ended up doing... I think he's like an addict where money is concerned. It's part of his crisis.
But anyway, once this stuff gets out in the open in court, I fear there's nothing that can ever save this relationship. Worst case - he might end up in jail. Best case - he'll hate me forever for going after him in this way.
I know it's got to be done to protect me and the kids, but it seems so anti-DB in so many ways.
You need to protect yourself he made his bed now he has to lie in it. I know how you feel. But he made decisions and he had choices. Now he has to face the consequences of those choices.
Take care! WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Reading through my L's deposition, I feel as if i'm betraying my stbx somehow...
Having these things said about him in open court - the stuff that normally would be aired only to bring down an adversary - makes me feel so conflicted.
I know I have to protect my remaining assets for me and the kids... but there's no recovery from what he's done when it gets deposed like this in open court.
I still feel like I should be protecting him - he's not his 'right' self and hasn't been for a while. The guy I knew would never have treated his wife and kids like this.
How can I betray him like this if he's not responsible for what he's doing?
If he is, then I was taken in by a con-man who played me for money for 15 years and when it finally ran out, he moved on to his next victim.
How can I betray him like this if he's not responsible for what he's doing?
If the filing is factual, then it's not a betrayal. If you were "protecting" his activities before this, then you were enabling his behavior. Maybe this step is what needs to happen to him to shake him out of it and put him back on the right path.
Quote:
If he is, then I was taken in by a con-man who played me for money for 15 years and when it finally ran out, he moved on to his next victim.
This is how the deposition reads.
That's just the way lawyers write stuff up. No one buys into the hype completely. The lawyers for both sides fluff it up to the extreme, everybody knows the truth is somewhere in the middle.
I know this is hard....but what would you tell your daughter to do if she were a wife with kids and her husband did this to her? Only victims need protecting....your H is not a victim....he did this and as long as you are telling the truth....
I don't like to say this BUT
IT IS WHAT IT IS
I think somehow you feel if you don't expose it, that it won't be true, but it is.
Protect your kids and yourself, because he is not going to offer you the same protection.
HUGS!!
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Stbx is an adult, the filing is factual (as much as anything ever is). It is what it is.
So yes, I don't have much choice. I can't just let him try to proceed to settlement without providing any financial documents.
But it all seems so strange. And wrong that it's come to this (a court case about discovery).
And worst of all, maybe it's me having to face the fact that he might have been this guy who systematically took advantage of us all that worries me so much.
Had another session with my L today and I'm exhausted.
Not looking forward to stbx getting the affidavits from my L just before Easter. He's coming over to pick up the kids on Fri so I am preparing myself for a bollocking.
