I heard the song Heart of the Matter (Don Henley) while driving home from work last week. You can hear a song a thousand times and never really listen to it, you sing along with the chorus but don't "hear" the words.
This time I really "heard" this:
I'm learning to live without you now But I miss you, Baby The more I know, the less I understand All the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter But everything changes And my friends seem to scatter But I think it's about forgiveness Forgiveness Even if, even if you don't love me anymore
There are people in your life who've come and gone They let you down and hurt your pride Better put it all behind you; life goes on You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you inside
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter But my will gets weak And my thoughts seem to scatter But I think it's about forgiveness Forgiveness Even if, even if you don't love me anymore
It is about forgiveness.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
H came up on Sunday and fixed the kitchen faucet. It needed tightened down at the base and because of the counter material and the little space in the cabinet under, it's a bear to do. I didn't ask, he just did it. That was nice, very nice.
I think I've said here before that he showed me love in these ways before, I just didn't get that. His giving is acts of service. I'm not saying we are in a love R now but that is the way he gives. And it was nice that he was giving to me.
He also took S out for awhile (wow, 2 days in a row). It is nice to know that S is out doing something other than nothing, or what appears to be nothing.
Then S and I had a some difficulty creating his schedule for the week which led to him getting angry about some of the items but I stuck to my guns. Talk about a rollercoaster, I'm often on 2 at the same time.
My IC appt is this AM, so we'll have lots to discuss.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
And the more I know, the less I understand All the things I thought I'd figured out I have to learn again I've been trying to get down To the heart of the matter
Curious why he got angry about his schedule bug??
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
And the more I know, the less I understand All the things I thought I'd figured out I have to learn again I've been trying to get down To the heart of the matter
Curious why he got angry about his schedule bug??
I'm including things in his schedule that he doesn't want to do but needs to do. He also has social anxiety.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Don't you wonder what Don Henley's been through to have written that (assuming he wrote that), because it seems really wise. I've been noticing how some songs about love and relationships have it completely wrong but are catchy anyway...like that one where the girl wrecks her guy's car...and some have it surprisingly right.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
