My ex is being a bit nicer towards me recently...it's nothing big, nothing huge, just seems the more I leave her alone and basically ignore her...the more she is polite and thanks me for little logistical things.
I haven't had an emotional click with any of the women I've been seeing. I get along with them alright, can laugh and have fun with them, have a conversation, and other stuff...but not that click like I had with my ex.
Seems my heart and my head are still at odds. My heart wants my ex back and my head knows the chances are basically nill; even if I draw her back in my head also knows it can't be the same R we had before, that both of us will have to make changes.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
Serious question here, and this isn't about whether I SHOULD want to be doing this or not, it's how to do this in a DB way.
Ex-gf hasn't been living at my house, doesn't have a key, but still has stuff here to pick up. She hasn't changed her mailing address yet so her mail is still coming here. I haven't told her to get it changed yet but I also don't make a point of telling her she has mail, if she asks I tell her and work with her so she can get it. She's not going to be able to claim this is her residence anymore, I've got that covered.
So, this is the part that I don't want to debate about whether I SHOULD want this or not. Believe it or not I am working on me, it might be different than some people but I am doing it and I still want my ex-gf back; I don't want the R we had, I want a healthy R.
With that said, what do I do about the mail? Do I tell her to get the mailing address updated since she no longer wants to be with me? Do I just let it go so that I'm not further pushing her away and allowing her an opening to reconcile? Something I'm not seeing or thinking about here?
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
Assuming I do my part and she does her part and she wants to reconcile I want to reconcile...past week there have been various texts between us. I'm always polite but very, very short in my responses and sometimes takes hours to days to respond. She's polite as well and has thanked me more than in recent history.
Doesn't sound like much but DB says to pay attention to the small changes. These are very small changes, but changes all the same.
So, back to the mail question, do I just leave things as are for now? or do I "set boundaries" and tell her she needs to change her address?
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
Still living with him and I haven't seen the kids in a very long time. Few days ago she texted me about something and then I said I hoped she was doing well and asked how the kids were. She told me she and them are well and I just said glad to hear it.
She then said she'd let me know when she could pick up her stuff and thanked me for holding it for her. I just didn't respond.
Then she asked if she had mail here and I said yes and left it someplace for her. She sent me a text thanking me for the mail and I didn't respond.
Came home today and two more pieces of mail. I could just do "return to sender" or "forward to xxxx" since I know where she's been living.
I just was trying to think in DB terms and if my long term goal is to reconcile then maybe I just let the mail issue go. Same with her picking stuff up, it's all in the spare room, attic, and basement, nothing I'm really having to worry about.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
Put everything in a box and tell her that she has X number of days to pick it up as you're making room. Same with the mail. The only thing you haven't done is shown her you've moved on.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
It's more than a box full. Her entire house got moved into mine and we've talked about her coming on a day to move everything out. There just hasn't been a good time b/c I've been GALing and won't drop my plans for her. Also, I believe dating (and sleeping) with other women (along with zero, "I miss you" or "I want you back" talk) is a fairly good indicator of me "moving on".
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
The article I linked to, if you noticed, I then agreed that it is garbage.
Next, I'm saying goodbye to these boards. I ask, once again, not whether I should want this or anything about her moving her stuff out. I ask a VERY TARGETED QUESTION about the MAIL and get answers for everything else.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
sorry that you are getting thoughts and opinions on what you posted . And not only what you want to hear and only the specific question you wanted answered.
