Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 7 of 11 1 2 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,533
Likes: 78
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,533
Likes: 78
Originally Posted By: Valeska19
Why not just plan a vacation with your sons?

This is a great idea.
Leading the way, would be showing how you are going to survive without her.
Taking her along is enabling.

My .02


Me-70, D37,S36
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
Originally Posted By: Valeska19
2,
I understand that you and w share a hotel room NOW.. but that WILL change once the Divorce is final? You realize that right?

The same thing goes for vacation. If you divorce, you won't be taking your w.

Why not just plan a vacation with your sons?

If she is truly giving you no feedback and you are telling her that you need to move on.. back it up with actions.

It's been 17 months.. don't you think it's time?



This ^^^^^^.


Starsky


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 539
Likes: 11
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 539
Likes: 11
Ditto


Me-53
W-49
D22,D18,D15
T-Since-12/2001
Married-9/2004
She Moved Out-5/28/2010
Piecing start-04/2011
Now-together
Thread
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2079304
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,757
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,757
triple


Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.
unconditional love is awesome!
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
Several opinions here...all care about you --all are valid -- mostly yours and your wife 's


Without discounting the others--I don't at all--they have GREAT points. Mine will get the yawn or eye-roll, so feel free to 'bring it'---


Give this vacation a stupor, ESP since its YOUR idea.....invite her, enjoy it, make a memory, if only for your kids. Let go of any and all expectations and see what you get that you can build on. If she will go, you have a lot more going for you than a lot of folks would give their eye teeth for, even if some folks don't agree.


Whatever you decide , we're on your side, you've done a great job so far.


dbmod
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
Originally Posted By: dbmod
Several opinions here...all care about you --all are valid -- mostly yours and your wife 's


Without discounting the others--I don't at all--they have GREAT points. Mine will get the yawn or eye-roll, so feel free to 'bring it'---



Kinda hard to "bring it" when you suddenly and completely arbitrarily MODERATE my posts. If "all (points) are valid," why not let them see the light of day -- immediately -- and let the original poster decide for themselves which is the best course of action?

I think 2TP is a big boy, and can handle it, don't you?


Starsky


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
How do you give a vacation a stupor? Sorry I'm not understanding.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
Originally Posted By: labug
How do you give a vacation a stupor? Sorry I'm not understanding.


That makes two of us.


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 1,433
Likes: 51
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 1,433
Likes: 51
that's right - we all care about 2.

But I'm interested to know why you are suggesting that dbmod. Divorce Busting is about doing what works. Being at wife's side is not working for him. We have seen 17 months of that.

She almost died and he was there for her every step of the way. He did this w/o expectations from her (at least none that he projected on her)

If that didn't change her mind - why would a vacation?

I can understand your point about creating a good memory and would suggest it myself if this would be early on in his sitch. But it's not and it's more of the same from him.

IMO - he needs to experiment with some 180s. A 180 here would be living his own life and letting his wife figure out on her own if she misses him enough to reach back.

Yes it's risky and may not get the answer he wants.. but it will definitely be an answer he deserves to know.


M(f): 40
D'ed: 8/12

Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.

Love at all costs because you are loved well.
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 2,695
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 2,695
2, I think you are ready to go alone. Not going to be easy, but this is the first step.

You are remarkable, and I agree with everyone else when they say you have been above and beyond.


Create your own memories with your kids. They will cherish them just as much.

Page 7 of 11 1 2 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard