Thanx harrier,you are right,he is mad at himself and thats the reason that i belive him.I have to say that last few weeks our relationship is better,im not angry at him,im sad.im angry at OW and im sad because we lost something special for good.i adviced him to go to therapis when he was depressed,but he sad that he is ok when im with him,and we are not fighting.and he is really much better when he sees that im not sad or mad and we spend a lot of time together.he said that he will never forgive himself .i want to forgive him,but i cant forget how i felt when i found out,i have pics in my head how i think that happend,and this hurts and from time to time it takes me few steps back
lavica, please get the Divorce Busting book (even from the library) and first of all read the chapter on infidelity. (even if this was an assault, you are still feeling the same things that you would feel if it was an infidelity. so you need to read it.)
then read the pages on "thought stopping" (p 205-206). then read the rest of the book.
it will help you a lot! it will give you tools to cope.
I've ordered a book .;-) To Harrier,we talked again and he said that he was in a kind of shock and that he didnt do anything(touching her,help her...) he was just watching how she did everything.He said that he was 100% sure that nothing will happen ,and then....he couldnt move he was in i dont know what. I asked that just to delete pics in my head where i see him horney,touching her... I want new memories for that day
you can do it! it's been done before. look at chapter 6 of "Not Just Friends" that deals with exactly that question. I see that chapter also mentions thought-stopping (which Michele also talks about in "Divorce Remedy").
