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Hi TJPc-
You are not being rejected. You are on moderation, and our goal is to moderate w/in 24 hours but we are not meeting that goal at this time. I have recommended your approval, so please hang in there, soon you should be able to post without moderation.

I apologize for the delay.


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TJPc #2308380 12/20/12 12:40 AM
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Originally Posted By: TJPc

How do you stop thinking about your WAH/MLCER? With recent info, I am struggling to keep my mind clear.


We as women pretty much never turn the focus inward. This is what you must do now. Take care of yourself and your girls. Thinking about him is taking energy (via emotion) away from YOU. Give yourself time to grieve and to cry but do you best not to let it consume you. It DOES get easier. My H moved out three months ago and I can go through a day without being upset. He is ruining HIS life, not MY life. I am worthy of being loved and will move on. THIS IS NOT OUR FAULT! They will wake up and realize what they've done and will be devastated.

Snodderly has wonderful advice-see an attorney and ensure your financial interests are protected. It's hard but necessary. This is part of taking care of yourself. Everything one breath at a time, one moment at a time, one day at a time. You CAN do this!


You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
-Christopher Robin to Pooh

Romans 12:12 Rejoice in your hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer.



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Thank you for the understanding. It is so hard. I pray everyday that when he "wakes up" he will be devastated and grieve in unbelievable pain. That's awful to say, but that's what I've been going thru for over five months.

I have filed a financial separation, just waiting for him to be served. Do you talk with your H? You have such a great attitude. I hope you start rubbing off on me smile


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What did he think you were going to live on, if he didn't send money? You had no choice but taking money from the loan. It's horrible when they turn into these creatures. So hurtful. I'm glad you've contacted a lawyer. Your MLCer can pay those fees too.


Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed.
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"Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
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PS And it wouldn't be a good idea to get a D now anyway, with all that credit debt he's piling up, with OW. You would likely be liable for half that debt. Check with a lawyer on that too.


Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed.
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EA4/04 End? Who knows?
"Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
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I have my times where I just want to be done with him. He has done nothing but lie for so long. He has turned into someone my Ds and I don't know. It's like my H and their Dad just disappeared. My Ds are so bitter about everything that has happened. Then there are the times when I remember how much I love my H, but he's lost. I am so confused on what to do. I guess I really don't have to do anything right now. Just take each day as it comes. I will find out soon enough which feeling takes over for the both of us. If he continues to be this other man, he won't want to come back anyway. Why is it that we are so open to taking back these people that have devastated our lives so much? Why can't I just stay mad at him for good? It hurts to know that I didn't have a choice at first. He made the choice to leave me. That stinks. He made the choice to cheat, to walk out, to withhold money. Now I want to be the one making the choices.


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TJPc #2310190 12/28/12 02:39 AM
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Well, not sure what I'm doing now. I have given up on H. He is someone that no one recognizes anymore. He has changed in every way, except for his name. I know that he is never coming back. I'm pretty certain he will move out of the country to live with OW permanently.

He has done nothing but hurt me and our daughters. He is out of the country now. Has been for weeks. He's cut off all the money and refuses to take responsibility for anything back home. He blames our daughters for the strain in his relationship with them. He is not being A Dad to them at all. He says he wants a relationship, but wants them to forget everything that has happened. They're supposed to act like none of this nightmare ever happened.

I have petitioned him for a legal financial separation. I had to take out the loan to pay for Christmas presents, bday presents and food and necessities. This doesn't seem to bother him. His response was that I have money now and he's not giving me any money.

My daughters have pretty much written him out of their lives. He sent them necklaces for Christmas and didn't even write a note. Nothing. The necklaces were generic necklaces that had no personal meaning to them. He used to spend so much time searching for the right gift for each if them. They usually never got the exact same thing. Plus. There would always be a special note with the present. The presents this year seemed like something they would get from a distance relative that doesn't really know them. They were so disappointed and refuse to ever wear them.

So, I'm waiting for the separation papers to be served and receive money from him. I have been making new friends and finding there are many men out there who think I'm beautiful and interesting. It's nice. I haven't heard I was beautiful in such a long time.

I take one day at a time. I don't get my hopes up on anything. I'm trying to keep stability in my daughters' lives and let them know I will always be here for them.


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TJPc #2314466 01/13/13 09:07 PM
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Update. I filed the financial separation. He responded and added the dissolution of marriage. So, I'm on my way to becoming at single woman. Since my H is not the man I knew or the father I knew to my girls, I have no emotion going into the divorce. I really don't have emotion about him at all. My daughters have decided not to have a relationship with him at this time. It has been a very difficult time for them. My daughters and I go to therapy. A couple weeks ago I met a wonderful man that I love spending time with. I am becoming happy again for the first time in a couple years.

I'll say what many have already said on this forum. Six months ago I would have never believed I would feel the way I do today. It was a very painful journey and I know the battle is still not over. But, there is life after a spouse cheats and walks out.

I plan on taking my new life one day at a time with the new man in my life. I will continue to help my daughters thru their feelings about their Dad. I will be ok.


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