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I think the reality of what is happening is beginning to kick in. I have a whole day stretched out in front of me when I would normally be out for coffee or walking or reading or just being with him. The emptiness in my heart feels unbearable. I will just pray to God to help me be strong and to open his heart. X

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Yes, the emptiness is there. Yes, being on one's own is very painful initially. But believe me: you have the strength to bear it. Have a cup of coffee, go for a walk, read a new book. Do what you know you enjoy and maybe pursue new activities which you have neglected or never tried yet.

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I have the similar feeling smirk I feel so empty from time to time.... a whole day stretched out.... I hope you feel better, and I'm trying to myself too...

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Thank you NinaNina, and you! I called a friend and went for a long walk on the beach, always clears my head. smile

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Make plans in advance so you don't have those long days stretching out in front of you. I started going to movies by myself, one time I drove in the parking lot and just couldn't do it but the next time it was easier and now I enjoy it. I can see whatever I want, whenever I want.

Do things that YOU want to do, it will improve your general outlook when you find you can still have fun even tho he's not there.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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well, been a while since I last wrote. Just journaling right now I guess as my head swims with do I hold on or let go....

The GAL makes me feel like I am indeed letting go. He wants no contact and I am giving him that. He has talked no more of the legal separation papers and our finances are still connected. We have no contact at all and he has asked me to move on with my life and try and work things out with the person I had an affair with....

He says he is seeing nobody but just trying to get on and move on with his life. I miss him everyday but this tiny part of me wonders if perhaps there is strength in letting go too. Perhaps I have to love him enough to let him go and understand that maybe he would be happier with someone else. After all, if I truly love him, I have to want what is best for him in the end don't I? Even if that isn't me, it doesn't mean I have to stop loving him, I never will just that I have to love him from a distance and hope and wish him happiness. Ho Hum

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Advice please! He has asked to meet me Monday to sign papers for the financial separation frown do I sign or do I stall??? I don't want this, is it too late now!!

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Hello,

Falling spectacularly apart today and am so far off the DB'ing it's crazy. I can't stop texting my H, telling him I miss him etc etc. I know it's the wrong thing to do, the worst thing to do. I can't stop crying, crying in the supermarket, crying in the car, crying when I wake up, it doesn't stop this week.

I have put in an application to rent an apartment as my H is also renting a place at the minute but wants to keep the house. I am finding it so hard being in the house without him. I think this has made everything so much more real. I feel like if I move out then that is it, there will be no hope for us. There has to be hope for us.

I am so tired and sick aswell as the moment which is not helping, I am finding it hard to deal with my overwhelming emotions. I know it's time to do a 180, to GAL, to let him think I am doing fine and moving on, but my god that is so hard as it feels like I am really moving n and away from him and that is the very last thing I want.

I have not signed the legal separation/financial separation papers yet. I can't. I know that is silly really I guess as even if I do sign them it doesn't mean there is no hope does it? It just sends out the message I am holding on to him, which goes against the DB I think?!

Any advice welcome. I hope you are all having a better day than me. frown

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H has just text me saying

' it is hard for me too, harder for you though I think. I am just trying to focus on myself and move on and get my head into a decent place. I want you to do the same thing'

If it is hard for him too why won't he come back and try.....! I don't think he is seeing someone else, he is adamant he isn't and I don't feel he is. Is it time to go dark? Should I sign the papers?

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Just journaling, it's been a black day.

It's been a while, a long while. Most days I am to tired to think or wrote or feel. It's to hard to feel.

I signed the legal separation papers today, for the finances, H came over to pick them up, he cried when he left, he looked tired too, but wouldn't stay. I cried, I screamed, I couldn't help it. This is all so wrong. I got in my car and drove, I wanted to find him - I don't know where he is living at the moment. In moments I closed my eyes, screaming at the top of my lungs I didn't care. It's to hard. This hurts to much and I have no control.

It would be easier if he was being horrid, he is not. He is being fair with the money, giving me advice etc checking how I am. It makes it harder. How can someone you shared your life with become a stranger, this can not be happening.

He is seeing OW only the OW also has a boyfriend. It hurts I hate it, he is MY husband. Christmas approaching makes it all so much harder. I want to just sleep my days away. I am sad and lonely and frightened and angry and sometimes I just want to scream.

Please help me, the papers are signed, he says please appreciate it's over, be string an move on with your life. Help me.

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