This morning I felt like my old self, happy, free and light. I do not think I have felt that way since this started, even when i have been happy there has always been a nagging heaviness in my heart, a catch in my throat. This morning felt amazing..
and it showed me that I and all of us here will get through this to better days, no matter what...
we are on our way home to ourselves..
i have also started seeing my STBXW and my M more realistically.. and realize that there are things that I want in my next R that were not in my M. that is such a strange feeling for me bc i truly loved my M..
sometimes i even get a bit scared at how detached i am becoming. does that make any sense?
i know that my feelings will not be consistent... i am sure that there will be more waves... but i believe that i will feel this way more and more
I told my SIL last week that I still hurt at times but I would not go back to where i was before this started.. i like the changes in me too much.
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13
You sound like you are reaching a good place, NG, keep up the good work
I agree with bug - the freedom of thinking about a life that we'd never imagined before can be unsettling, but you can choose whether to fear it or whether to embrace it. ((( )))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
This morning I felt like my old self, happy, free and light. I do not think I have felt that way since this started, even when i have been happy there has always been a nagging heaviness in my heart, a catch in my throat. This morning felt amazing..
and it showed me that I and all of us here will get through this to better days, no matter what...
Thanks for stating that. I am still far from such a point but your post gives hope that the sadness will eventually subside.
NeedGrace, great post!! Some days I feel like you described- independent, happy, content with how things are going regardless of the outcome. Other days are not so good I've heard people say that as time goes on the good days increase and the bad days decrease until at some point down the road the bad days are gone. Here's hoping
Ms. Fierce, I have been thinking about you lately and wondering how you are. I hope you are well. (((((( ))))))))
Bug, I think it is a combination of the two. I think there is excitement about the possibilities but a bit of left over fear that I will not be able to handle it. I have been tracing that fear back in my life recently and know the roots but have not been able to dig them up and throw them out yet.
Long run, thanks for stopping by. it will happen and surprise you when you least expect it. the people here can be such a huge help, you are in the right place.
AS, bug is right, they do increase.. and it is such a good time to look deep within yourself and grow. it makes it feel like the pain has a purpose.
Busting, my dear sister... I had a really fun weekend.. I kept busy bicycling, swimming, spending time with friends and bought a new outdoor ping pong table for fun. I woke up a few times last night and felt unsettled... and I think that is the stuff that is unfinished about the D.. STBXW has not responded to an email a week ago about some tax stuff that needs to be completed in the next 2 weeks and it s a lot of work. ..
and her bday is this week on Thursday. Text or not? How is everyone else handling WAS Bdays?
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13
