a new perspective

[Carnac]

stronger: I want to second the entire post.

[needgrace]

Stronger,

Loved your post.

In a weird way, I am scared to detach bc I don't want to feel that way. I don't want to lose this love i have for my W... Anyone else feel that way? It seems like I should be running to detach to end the pain.. but I do feel a fear or reluctance. perhaps, it is fear of the unknown..

[strongerthanever]

I completely understand. But man, the person I fell in love with is gone...just like those old shiny memories, that man is gone, rusted over too. My emotions are doing the same. It's like he's lost his effect on me.

as hard as it was to get to this point, as many times I pleaded with God, idk, I just don't see it happening right now. It's not a front. It's like the relationship was left to rot out of negligence and no longer seems appealing.

Is this suppose to happen?

[needgrace]

i don't know.. i saw my W tonight for the first time in 4 months.. (she moved out of state but is moving back in 2 months and had some interviews and an OW here.)

i am feeling like maybe i have left her behind.. maybe that is how i feel tonight and i will feel differently tomorrow, but i do not feel like i thought i would.. i miss what we had, but she did not feel like the same person at all to me, not at all...

stronger, maybe we are feeling the same way...is this detachment??

[strongerthanever]

I don't know, maybe the beginning? I think full detachment is when we don't care anymore? Hmmm maybe it's not about not caring about them, but that we have created so much of a new life that we could care less about their opinions of or reactions to our new life/ us ???

That actually is how I feel though. I totally get what you mean about seeing them and being surprised by our reaction. And then a second opportunity presents it's self and you think "naaah, I'd rather be doing_______ ". The same olds song and dance gets old.

Like my grandma says, baby, ya got to get sick and tired of being sick and tired

[labug]

I don't think it's that we don't care anymore, but that it doesn't affect our emotions. Does that make sense? We are no longer enmeshed.

[zig]

Like my grandma says, baby, ya got to get sick and tired of being sick and tired


i've been waiting for that ^^^^

i like your grandma

oh and i like you too

((((((((( ))))))))))))

[strongerthanever]

Love ya back ziggy pie!

[strongerthanever]

Labug,

I really think I don't care anymore, lol. That does not equate being nasty or rude, but really not giving a crap anymore. My life feels so beautiful, I'm so blessed for all that I have (even their father, so glad that he remains such a loving active present father) that it just seems crazy giving one second of negative attention to THAT situation.

[strongerthanever]

I'm going to start a new thread tomorrow, as I'm in a new place for sure. First some updating.

This week was bittersweet. Early Thursday morning we lost a 1 yr old little girl. Watching the patents mourn, scream, yell at God, sob on the hospital floor was hard. I had to see this sweet angel prepped for the morgue, and then undo everything when the parents suddenly returned with her siblings, wanting to say goodbye. I found myself in that room, with her now in a hospital gown, wrapped in a blanket, surrounded by her family and minister. That seriously did something to me. I didn't go home and sleep, I picked up my girls and held them all day. I didn't go back to work till 2 days later.

That poor mother. I send her so much love many times a day. I know she would jump into my sitch in a heartbeat if it meant having her sweet baby girl back. And here I have been, with so much to be grateful for, and ie had been acting like my life was over SIMPLY because someone decided they no longer wanted to be a part of it.

I'm so humbled God put me in that situation the other night. Life is so precious. I don't want to spend any of it being unappreciative or negative. If someone is in my life, I'm sure it isn't for me to judge or hate them. I can love someone just the way they are, not needing them to change. It's a great feeling. I have felt so much love and appreciation for my life these post few days that my eyes full with tears.

My interactions with my children have been so powerful and meaningful. I packed us up last night and we drove 2 hrs away to my friends farm. Fall is nearing and the weather is just beautiful. The views here in Colorado ate amazing this time of the year! I'm off to help with breakfast, then it's time to say good morning to some horsies.

Enjoy your last day of summer guys!

<3