It's great to hear you doing so well. It sounds like you have truly moved on with your life - what a great example for your kids as well.
I am sorry to hear you have issues with your H, but it sounds like you are handling it beautifully. Good for you!
Have a fun and safe vacation trip.
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
Autumn you sound great and you must be radiating positivity outward because the communication you pasted above is grounded on both sides. Kudos to the work you've done
Thanks so much!! I suppose there must be some truth to that Vera. As of this morning, STBX now wants to come and split everything. He previously was digging in and wouldn't even take all of his clothes. I asked him to wait until I get back, because I want to be here when he is removing things from the house. He agreed. What a nice surprise this morning!!
You should bring someone with you (preferably, a male relative) and supervise to make sure he doesn't remove anything from the house that he shouldn't.
Had a wonderful vacation with my boys and just getting back to work today. It feels good to be back to a routine again, as much as I enjoyed the downtime.
I had a few of my girlfriends there, staying in the same community, which was great for me and my boys. STBX kept in constant contact with the boys. He mentioned to me how hard this week was going to be on him as the first 'family vacation' without him. I asked him to please not put that on the boys, and it sounds like he didn't.
Yesterday had a minor setback with STBX, as he came to the house to help S15 with his car and wanted to discuss some financials with me, specifically college tuition for S18. The conversation went well but after he left he texted me a few additional things re: the settlement, court and financials. He was getting a bit too friendly and crossed some of my personal boundaries. I was hesitant to draw that line again as I didn't have the energy for the fight post vacation.
But after a few more inappropriate comments, I will be setting that hard line again and expecting him to respect it. No contact means no contact. I need it that way, and if he needs to talk with someone he needs to find another person to talk to.
It's the old "give an inch take a yard". I am proud that it took me very little time to see it for what it was and draw that line again. That is progress.
I am so much happier when my boundaries are respected and I am focused on me and the boys, that is enough for me.
