She may not know. It may be an attempt to control something she isn’t in control of. I don’t think she fears something you may do.
My X has no reason to fear yet she is still attempting keep secret her address. It is a futile effort. I never went looking. Eventually her address was made available to me through her attempts to have joint bank statements forwarded. Even after I sent documents to her for her signature she is telling the kids she is safe as long as I don’t know where she lives.
Don’t waste your energy attempting to determine why she is doing what she is doing. Some of the actions people do have no basis in logic, particularly when they are in crisis.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
I asked exw if she had a move out date today again. Her response " I will be out in the 45 days. There is a lot to do but I'm working on it". She is a perfectionist and will think things to death. Sadly I can no longer live like this. I informed her she will be off my insurance this Friday. I asked if she got a phone plan because I'm to get her off mine this Friday as per the divorce. She says she will work on it tomorrow. Yes I need her to move asap. And she continues to cook and serve me. I dunno it is almost over but if I don't ask about her moving out date she will take all the time in the world to make sure everything is just right. I don't have that luxury.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I think you need to stop asking her. She knows the deal. As far as the phone - same thing - you've told her more than once. I would just put the dates in writing and post it on the frig then be done with it. You cancel the cel phone plan but don't keep telling her like she is a child. You just do it and if she doesn't take care of it - that's her problem.
I would be uncomfortable having her feed me all the time when this is about to happen. But that's your call. Some separation is in order.
Rick I agree with Sun as well, maybe you can perhaps take it a step farther and tell her not to worry about fixing you dinner. this could serve as a final notice to her that you are done. I know you will have to fend for yourself in a few weeks or so, but you seemed to be confused in my opinion. Although I have been on here for a while I have never heard of your situation. Your ex to me is rubbing it in your face, and your taking it. You like the dinners and yes I saw the pics. Is she doing this out of guilt or rubbing it in your face. I know you are very strong, however this seems way over the top with her actions and words.... Are you keeping the peace in case of a R. Please stay strong my friend. Scott
I get the impression that she is trying to find a way to be "the good guy," and try to deal with her feelings of guilt. Not sure why you are letting her feed you.
All good points guys and appreciated. I can tell you briefly what I have learned about me and exw since this happened. I am not a controlling person. But I don't like being controlled. It makes me angry when others try to control me. What I learned is that exw is a control freak. We ate what she cooked went where she wanted and did things always her way. I became resentful and got nasty, not always but that was the cycle. I think she cooks as a way to control, and she is very paranoid when I cook stuff. She does not like anyone touching her food or the stuff that will be cooked. And maybe she is trying to be the nice guy. Hard to tell. I eat what she makes because by the time I get home it's on the table. The only way to stop that it to ask her not to do it any longer.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
G I don't know if she will do that. But she cooked again and I wrapped it and put it in the fridge. Made myself a grilled steak with salad. Was craving for one. And I luvs cooking, really!!!
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
lol^^^^Bugsy. I don't think so. if she sees me naked she may want some and she can't have me.
Well the last thing to do was done today. She is off my cell phone plan. Felt really weird and kind of sad. But this is what she wants. The splitting of things is pretty difficult. One last thing is her move. With her goes my two doggies and D. Gonna miss not seen them everyday.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
