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Hi everyone. It has been a little while because I've been pretty much getting a life.

I'm posting because I may have taken it a little too far. Basically, I was with friends at a party in Brooklyn. Things got out of hand, and I kissed a boy. Of course, now I feel really guilty about it. I guess there's not much I can do about it now, but I just felt like I needed to talk about it here. Husband has no way of finding out, but I do feel very badly about it.

In terms of what has happened with husband lately: his mutual friend told me that husband said that he thought me moving out was "for the best" but he was happy that we were not fighting (which we're not). At aforementioned party, my cell phone got stolen by my friend's sister's friend, and husband got the message showing that I had bought a new phone and he texted to ask if something had happened. I explained the situation and he apologized and then made a joke, which he has not done in a long time. He said something to the effect of "just keep sending random annoying beeping noises to the phone!" (which you can do with iCloud if you track an iPhone). He also called me for the first time the other day, because I had asked him about a router since the wireless signal in my new apartment is very poor. That was surprising; I thought we were kind of just sticking to texting/emailing/google chatting. He has also been working a lot of hours and has been taking all of the overtime that he can at work, which I guess is good for him because I know things will be tight for him financially for awhile. We really have not been talking a whole lot though.

He is coming on Friday so we can swap cars, and he also has the couch/router/other random bits to give to me.

I have been taking care of a lot of things for myself that I otherwise probably wouldn't have. I felt so compelled to call him so many times and ask him what to do. In particular, the cell phone thing (omg what phone/plan should I get!) but I figured it out on my own, and my car battery died, but I took care of that too.

I feel like I really screwed up here, and I feel terrible about it.

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What kinda kiss was it? Did he kiss u back? I don't think a kiss is getting out of hand.


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





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It was a lot of kissing. I feel like I cheated.

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I mean, I guess, like, if we were dating, it would be totally acceptable, but does the title "married" really matter? I just don't know.

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Things happen. But it is time to think about the reasons for doing that. Were you needy, angry, lonely? There are many definitions to cheating just ask Slick Willy. If it did not feel right than it may not be the right time. Maybe you need to wait until a later time. But only u know that. If you are wanting to reconcile it may not be a good idea to do that again. So put that behind you and move forward. Don't look to another person to fill that void, k.


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





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It sounds like you're in a panic about this. Take a break from thinking about it and get busy with something that makes you feel good about yourself. Consider it more when you're feeling calm and objective.


Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
__
Happiness is a warm puppy.
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Honestly, I was slightly intoxicated, and definitely liked the attention a lot.

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My question is why did you feel the need to start two new threads on this topic and bump yourself four times on one of them over the course of an hour?

Perhaps the answer to this question will give you insight into issues you might need to work on. It smacks of extreme neediness.


me 45
H 46
T 5
M 2.5
BD Sept 6 2011
OW Sept 8 2011
Threw him out Sept 8 2011
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Originally Posted By: greatwhitenorth
My question is why did you feel the need to start two new threads on this topic and bump yourself four times on one of them over the course of an hour?

Perhaps the answer to this question will give you insight into issues you might need to work on. It smacks of extreme neediness.


yes it does. Please do NOT tell your h no matter how much you want to rationalize telling him. It reeks of revenge AND OR the need to feel desired and to show him so...nothing positive can come of it.

If it's not an "ongoing affair" and clearly it isn't, then there is NO value in telling him of your mistake. If you felt single, which you don't, that's a different story but I'd still see zero value in telling him.

It can only backfire on you and makes you look a tad unstable/uncommitted.


What is your goal with your h? Focus on the goals you have and work toward them. What are they?

I don't know where your other threads are but if you post in ONE, I'll follow along.

Good luck


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change

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