I spoke with Chuck last night, and he seemed to think that I was doing better than I thought I had been. His major advice was to be "more like tigger" and "less like eeyore." Which I suppose makes sense. However, he did feel that I had passed the "tests" that husband had set up for me recently.
So, last night, when husband left, I told him how excited I was about the new apartment and what new things I was going to get! I also told him how I was planning on cooking more, because I took out a bowl of something I had made from the fridge, and offered some to him. And I was really cheery and upbeat and when he left, I thanked him for all of his help, and I swear, husband lingered for a second and thanked me for something and said "you're welcome" and it really seemed sincere and different.
Chuck wasn't sure what was best to do when husband offered me help, but suggested "experimenting." Maybe accepting help sometimes and declining it other times, because I don't know if husband wants me to be more independent or if he likes to continue helping me.
Chuck said it was a bit of a weird situation because of how kind and generous husband was being, so I really need to think of how to measure success, which I think will be difficult. In the mean time, I am continuing to get a life!
I feel a little bit ok right now... I'm definitely leaning towards traveling for a year, which is something really exciting.
I am also going to individual counseling tonight... I'm trying to join some meetup groups and if all goes well, might go roller skating tomorrow night (hahaha, I haven't done that in years!)
I am going to try to be tigger! When I was making my dinner before, I was smiling and thinking about exciting things and I keep trying to have a smile on my face at all times! I unfortunately don't have much of an opportunity right now since husband went out, and I was exhausted when I first came home, so we just exchanged "hi" and that was it. Right now, I'm looking around at decorations for my new place, so I am kind of in an awesome mood! I hope he comes home to see it!
So, I've been talking more and more to husband. He is really concerned about how long I'll be staying at this new place, what my plans are, etc. It seems a bit weird, but maybe he's just curious. Tomorrow is the day I move out.
My apartment is AWESOME. It's so pretty and colorful and girly, and I'd never have been able to decorate this way had I been with my husband :P I've been making so many friends these last few days, and I feel genuinely happy. If I could bounce around like tigger, I probably would!
I showed husband photos of the new apartment and my awesome color scheme and I told him how awesome I thought I did in designing it. He has been generally friendly, but mostly over the internet/texting. We haven't really seen much of one another in the last few days, but I think I've been portraying my tigger-ness.
