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Jessica yes it is very hard. I have been both a WAH and now and LBS. Know this, things will fall into place. Some things you have to do which are in your control. Other things not so much. there is a thing called called rolling with resistance. It's like psychological martial arts. Just let things roll off your shoulder. Don't fight them let them happen. Ask H to get a car sit for himself it is his responsibility to have one. What are ya doing for fun?


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





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Thank you Rick1963. Makes sense.

I haven't had a lot of time to do anything fun. I've been working outside the home (which is new for me as a mom) and when I get home I'm taking care of my daughter and trying to do all the things that need to be done.


Me:29; W:37
T: 6
M: 4
D: 2; SD: 14; SS: 17
H filed D: 6/13/12; H moved out: 6/14/12
H moved back in: 6/28/12
Confirmed EA: 8/12
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Here is the thread for Gabbysmom23 that Cat04 was talking about.

She was close to your age and an RN.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...739#Post1407739

Do you know how to find all her threads by clicking on her name, and hit show post, then click on topics?

There are quite a few to read so that should keep you busy for a short time.

smile smile smile


Me-70, D37,S36
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Thanks Cadet. I was actually just searching for her threads.


Me:29; W:37
T: 6
M: 4
D: 2; SD: 14; SS: 17
H filed D: 6/13/12; H moved out: 6/14/12
H moved back in: 6/28/12
Confirmed EA: 8/12
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 108
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I have been doing so good. Me and WAH had been getting along really good and I was having hopes that maybe someday we could reconcile. Not that it was going to happen even before divorce but I had some hope. Well today I took at least 2 steps backwards. My husband was getting ready to go to work and I was going to take a nap since I only worked a half day today and he started talking about my plans to possibly move in with my parents when I started school. I told him how that was not going to happen and we started to briefly discuss it. He acted like he was upset that my parents didn't want me to move in. I told him that it wasn't their responsibility to take me and our daughter in since he didn't want me anymore. I just couldn't believe why he would be upset and I told him how pissed my mom was at him. I didn't yell but I said some things that I had been holding back and it wasn't good. I showed him the me that he didn't want to be with and I really regret saying things. I should have just held my tongue. I wasn't looking forward to this conversation anyways because I knew how he would react. He always seems to think that my parents have some responsibility to me and Alyssa that they don't.

Very frustrating! Wish I wouldn't have said anything. Makes me realize that I still have a lot of work to do. It's easy to get along with my husband when we are discussing carefree things but if we hit certain trigger points we still have a lot of work to do.


Me:29; W:37
T: 6
M: 4
D: 2; SD: 14; SS: 17
H filed D: 6/13/12; H moved out: 6/14/12
H moved back in: 6/28/12
Confirmed EA: 8/12
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 108
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Getting overwhelmed again. Not so much with my husband but with my daughter. She is definitely in the terrible two's and has gotten worse with everything that is going on, which is completely understandable. I have very little patience lately and am always tired. I don't have any time to do anything for myself because me and husband are working opposite shifts.


Me:29; W:37
T: 6
M: 4
D: 2; SD: 14; SS: 17
H filed D: 6/13/12; H moved out: 6/14/12
H moved back in: 6/28/12
Confirmed EA: 8/12
Joined: Mar 2012
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Originally Posted By: Jessica M.
Getting overwhelmed again. Not so much with my husband but with my daughter. She is definitely in the terrible two's and has gotten worse with everything that is going on, which is completely understandable. I have very little patience lately and am always tired. I don't have any time to do anything for myself because me and husband are working opposite shifts.


Wow, I can relate with you so much on this. It's so important for you to have that time to yourself and if you're not getting it, everything seems so much worse. You need time to work on YOU. How can you get some time to yourself right now? I think it should be a big priority for you... even if it is for a night. Don't hesitate to ask for help from family with babysitting if that's an option for you because GAL is going to be one of your life lines right now.

All mom's need a break, especially when going through something extremely traumatizing. D is definitely traumatizing.

If you're not able to get a babysitter, then at least make it a point to have some great playdates planned out with friends that have kids. Get some adult interaction and bond with D2 more.

Hope this helps!


Me: 32 H: 32
M 9 yrs
#1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2
Bomb 8/12/11
H moved out 8/14/11
PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12
Got my own place 8/25/12
H & OW move in together 9/15/12
Still married.


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Thanks jks! I didn't work for 2.5 years and it was easy to find time to go out for playdates and things like that. I never really got time to myself but didn't need it as much because my life wasn't as stressful. Adding in working and me and WAH being on opposite shifts has been so hard. My parents watch my daughter every once in awhile but they are still raising my sister and it seems like a burden if I ask too much.


Me:29; W:37
T: 6
M: 4
D: 2; SD: 14; SS: 17
H filed D: 6/13/12; H moved out: 6/14/12
H moved back in: 6/28/12
Confirmed EA: 8/12
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 108
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I've been really busy which has been good but I am soooo tired! I went out with friends a lot over the holidays which was great! I definitely needed that! I haven't seen WAH much because we've been doing our own thing or working opposite shifts. We've been friendly and civil but that's about it.

My daughter has been having a hard time though. She has been so fussy. I don't know if it's because she's tired or if it's because of everything going on. She's getting used to me not being home all the time. At least she's home with her dad right now before she needs to get used to a babysitter.

I'm moving forward in my going to school. I am going to check out another school closer to me because it may be cheaper and I may be able to get my classes in quicker but I'm not sure yet.

I tried to call to get daycare vouchers but no one has called me back yet.

I need to wait until next week to get in touch with another low cost attorney services. They are only open when I'm at work this week and I have a couple days off during the week next week since I'm working the weekend.

I've been trying to step back and not say anything stupid but every once in awhile I do. I've at least been calm and not started crying in front of WAH.

I'm starting to get really nervous about when me and my daughter move out. I know it will be coming up soon if me and WAH spouse don't work this out. She's going to think it's my fault that we are moving away from our home, her daddy and her puppy. She doesn't know any better. It's making me really upset. I just don't know how to emotionally deal with that. Any tips?


Me:29; W:37
T: 6
M: 4
D: 2; SD: 14; SS: 17
H filed D: 6/13/12; H moved out: 6/14/12
H moved back in: 6/28/12
Confirmed EA: 8/12
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,987
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There is no easy answer. But I would say don't project into the future. Today is a good day and your daughter is safe and happy. You do not need to worry about your d emotions regarding something that hasn't happened yet. Know that other kids go through similar scenarios and with loving support from loving parents they adjust.

Also write a gratitude list. You have a healthy kid, a job in this losely economy And I am sure there is more.

If at all possible you need to spend money to make things easier on you. Being a single parent is impossible. Staying cool calm and collected so so hard. Maybe there is a 11 yr old girl in the neighborhood that can come over and play with your d while you do the dishes or laundry or read a trashy magazine.

A girl on my block has been coming over and I give her $5 an hr but her parents won't let me give her more then $20 in a week.

Hang in there. You are blessed:)


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

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