It's been a month since he filed - but I was never served. I got a pissed off/frantic phone call today from H.
I posted this in the newcomers thread - but honestly I'm freaking out right now.... need some sanity. Some more eyes..
--------------
Wow..... 4:30 I haven't called or emailed H all day.
H just called asked about S (who is sick) and what I'm up to. I said, 'nothing, just reading and rubbing S's feet'.
H then goes off on a tirade about how he's going to get me served today or tomorrow and that he will be printing off the paperwork and giving it to me. He's upset because he gave this to me almost 3 weeks ago and he called the court to see where the process was at and nothing has been done (I hadn't been served). He starts in on how he would have had this all done and he could get on with his life.
I asked "what's going on today? Is there something happening at work?" and he continues on.... I just stayed quiet. When he asked "So do you want to sign the papers or do you have to be embarassed in front of other people? I will have to find someone else to serve you" I said "You are going to have to do whatever you feel is right."
He said "I don't understand why you don't want a divorce, and why you are fighting this. I'm done. Had it not been for S I would have just walked away. (I don't *think* that is true) You can't force me to be happy in this marriage. A marriage takes 2."
I said "There are a lot of reasons why I don't want to divorce. And I am not trying to force you into staying married. I understand that you aren't happy right now (H interrupts me to tell me that it's NOT JUST TODAY) Maybe one day in the future we'll look back on this and you would be happy I gave it a fight." He said "Well we'll cross that bridge when we get there." and then on and on about how BS the courts are and how hard it is to get divorced (in paperwork process). I said "Yes well when it comes to divorce, I think it should be difficult, especially when there are children involved."
He then said that he was going to get me served and wants to get on with his life and had to go (he was working at the front desk) and I said, "Ok, well have a nice rest of the day" as calmly as I could. and hung up.
HOLY CRAP>>>>>>>> I am literally trying not to bust out crying right now. I remained calm on the phone but I'm freaking out. S is sleeping right now.... thank goodness.
So when he comes home tonight with the paperwork.... what do I do?! Do I sign? Do I make him get it officially served? Help!
What an @$$. When he comes over, take the paperwork, then calmly look him dead in the eye and tell him to never talk to you like that again. Tell him that he knows it's not your fault and if something's going on that he is not going to take it out on you ever again.
Then tell him that you deserve to be respected above all else from him or the next person you go out with. Show him you mean business. He needs that right now. Start putting your foot down and you'll get back a little bit of respect back each time.
Do you have a list of your terms? Have you spoken to a L?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Have you spoken to a lawyer? I was never served but he did file and the divorce would happen even if he did nothing as the judge would call it to trial. Once you have a lawyer, you can have it served there.
He doesn't seem to be on the ball with all this so maybe his mood swings are slowing everything down. Just keep treating him like you would the mailman. Just casual conversation, no relationship talk. Keep it together around him but it is ok to let it out when he isn't around.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I would also suggest keeping your threads together as much as possible. If you feel like you would get more traffic on another thread move there. It will be easier for everyone to find you and keep up with you.
Hang in there. kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
