WE PROCEEDED ON II

[DaddyLongShanks]

Hello Daddy,
Thank you for posting. Yes, I have been told by many people that I am a planner which is right on, and which was instilled in me by both my military background(22 years in Marine Corps), and dysfunctional family background. I am much more aware of this over the last year, and have taken steps to modify the tendency to overplan, which can be detrimental to any relationship.

At first, I believe my tendency toward planning and stability was a real turn on for my s, since she came out of a dysfunctional family and had had many unstable relationships in her life. As the years went by though, I believe she lost herself, and we became more like affectionate roommates than lovers. I fully share in this responsibility, and like many on this board, wish I had been given the opportunity to be smacked on the head and learn from mistakes made, and to make a go at it with my sp in a new relationship.

I think she really started to entertain the thought of leaving right around the time that I turned 49, which would have been 2009. I still dont believe she was entirely ready to pull the plug until june of last year, it could have gone either way.

Thanks for asking

I figured it was when you where nearing 50. Sounds about right. It's ok to plan. You have to leave some slack in there for spontenaity.

She may have thought you where starting to get "old", and wanted to catch up on what she missed out on. Understanding the real reasons if it was one is valueable, because you know what your dealing with.


Good luck to you.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Hey gunny, Kolja list is pretty good about Anchorage, and as a resident let me know if you have any questions. What to do greatly depends on what you like to do.

The time of year is going to be hit or miss on outdoor stuff, as in...hiking gear, or snow gear.

Flat Top mountian...an easy climb with an amazing view is the most hiked mountian in North America. As someone who lived on the East Coast, and Colorado...it is simply amaizng to climb it, look down over Anchorage...turn around and not see 1 single sign of human presence...not 1. No telephone lines, no planes...No cell towers...and I'm not talking because the trees block the view, you're on a mountian.

[gunny]

Hello Jack, thank you for posting. I am content to do some sightseeing, some hiking and maybe get into town to see the sites. I would like to take some of the highways out to different sites, am not bothered by cold. Look forward to getting some good info from you, thank you again.

[gunny]

hello all,
Just moving along on another hot monday. I am on step 3 of the self filing divorce that the s and I have elected to use rather than use the services of lawyers... she forgot to sign and have witnessed and notarized the second page of one of the documents. She is on vacation, so I will now have to contact her to ask her to get it done. I am sure it was just a mistake on her part, she filled out the first page, but not the second.

As we all know, having to deal with the delicate and necessary tasks of the d is distateful and generates a certain amount of stress/anxiety. These hot, humid days do not lend support.

Oh well, just spouting, thanks all for listening. Anything going on out there?

[kolja]

I didn't do much of the work with ours, other than to sign where I was supposed to sign and get notarized what I was supposed to notarize (she, after all, was the one who wanted it). But it was still certainly distasteful so I can certainly identify!

[~ kd ~]

Anything going on out there?

dunno... hang on... I'll have a check...

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eh...

nope, not really...

[gunny]

hello all,
I just bought one of those new fangled phones that can do everything for you but breathe. I have never learned to text but taught myself over the last couple of weeks, actually getting pretty good at it. Since I texted my stbxw with my new #, we have texted back and forth periodically, usually about the dog, or finances or the d. Have you all found that texting has been a help or a hindrance in your communications with your spouses? Just curious, it seems to allow more spontaneous communication without having to expend the effort at conversation. Any thoughts, views, etc?

[JustStunned]

Hello Gunny,

I do not text with X. She’d rather a widow be, than admit I still breathe.

I am an early adopter. I posted on BBS through a 2400 baud modem back in the day. I have one of those electronic leashes attached to my hip.

Texting is fine for short pointed conversation or to just see if someone is listening. It should never be used for sensitive, critical or time sensitive communication. Like email it is not secure nor is delivery guaranteed.

If a message is delivered you have no guarantee it will be read, understood or having been understood is being acted upon. Texting is not intended to nor does it convey emotional content well. That said I have had entire conversations conducted through text. It is a useful tool.

Try and avoid the one or two letter reply, K and excessive use of 2. Avail yourself of the QWERTY keyboard if you device is equipped and note there are gasp punctuation keys on it.

Semper Fidelis

[kolja]

We haven't had ANY contact in over three weeks now, but up till then it was almost exclusively via text.

[Rick1963]

Good for you Gunny. Which phone did you get man???/ And yeah don't text her.