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A Message from Michele
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Re: Husband wants out & has one foot out the door - P2 [Re: RoRoinMD] #2220514
02/10/12 03:36 AM
02/10/12 03:36 AM
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RoRoinMD Offline OP
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I've stuck to myself most of the night. Because right now bringing up his trip is on the tip of my tongue. He came home and I had all of the lights off and was just sitting up in bed. I knew I couldn't look at him. He peeped in but left because he thought I was asleep. I said I'm awake. He asked why I was sitting in the dark, and what was wrong. I said I was just thinking. He asked about what. I said just thinking. That's when he brought in that popcorn bowl. I think he knows something is up but not sure what.

He's not feeling well tonight so he's already in bed. I did the cordial thing and asked if he needed anything. He said no. So now I am sitting beside him in bed surfing the DB boards before bed. Not feeling that great myself so it'll be an early night for me too.

What do you guys think about me going "dim"? I haven't thought it would be beneficial since we're still living together, but now I'm not sure.


Me:37
H:GONE

Happy and loving life.
Re: Husband wants out & has one foot out the door - P2 [Re: RoRoinMD] #2220547
02/10/12 07:16 AM
02/10/12 07:16 AM
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NSweet Offline
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Right, you have to pick your battles and right now he is too wrapped up with the OW to accept any responsibility or confess. There will come a time for confrontation later but wait until you're feeling better. A sick person in unattractive on a darwin and you don't want that level of contempt for no reason.

Re: Husband wants out & has one foot out the door - P2 [Re: RoRoinMD] #2220584
02/10/12 01:32 PM
02/10/12 01:32 PM
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RoRoinMD Offline OP
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I didn't get much sleep last night, so I'm extra tired today. I'm not sure why the knowledge of this trip bothers me so much. After all, it's just another lie on top of everything else.

I realize that confronting my H about this trip is not the right thing to do. But if he tells me about the trip himself, that's a different scenario. I had previously told him that I might try to plan a trip to Vegas for my sister's graduation present. She'll finish her MS in May. So this morning I told him that I was going to send his bf a FB message asking for the website where he got their Vegas deal from. H says ok and says he'll send me his flight schedule as well since he keeps forgetting to give it to me.

Now, I actually already have his flight schedule for Vegas as I found that during my snooping. It had both H and OW's names on it. So I'm wondering exactly what he is going to send me? Sooner or later the truth is going to come out. And it's going to have to come from him since he's the common denominator in all this.

I'm wondering if he's on the phone with his bf getting the story straight now. LOL I feel like I'm turning into my old self (vindictive, mean, bitter) with this new development. Prayer time! I don't ever want to go back there!


Me:37
H:GONE

Happy and loving life.
Re: Husband wants out & has one foot out the door - P2 [Re: RoRoinMD] #2220589
02/10/12 01:43 PM
02/10/12 01:43 PM
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nhmom Offline
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Hey RoRoin...sending you some ((hugs)).

My thoughts:

Don't confront him about the trip. In fact, don't ask ANYTHING about the trip. Just tell him to have a good time. Don't call him. Don't text him. Nothing.

Your H seems to be acting extra nice lately. He's probably doing that out of guilt. Don't eat from his hand. If he does something nice, don't overly thank him or anything. Just say 'thanks' and act like it's no big deal.

Is there anything you can plan for yourself while he's gone? Something fun? Put something on the calendar so that he could see, but be vague.


Me:32 H:34 T:14.5 M:9.5 S:5 BD: 11/25/11


Re: Husband wants out & has one foot out the door - P2 [Re: nhmom] #2220593
02/10/12 02:02 PM
02/10/12 02:02 PM
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RoRoinMD Offline OP
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Nh - I had already planned to go dark next weekend. I'll be in NC with my sis, so that will be easy to do.

I tried the no big deal thing last night with the popcorn bowl. He definitely didn't like it. I could tell by the look on his face.

I just bet he does feel guilty. That's probably why he agreed to go on the double date with our friends tomorrow night.

This whole situation is just too much! Why can't marriage be simple?


Me:37
H:GONE

Happy and loving life.
Re: Husband wants out & has one foot out the door - P2 [Re: RoRoinMD] #2220595
02/10/12 02:13 PM
02/10/12 02:13 PM
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nhmom Offline
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Originally Posted By: RoRoinMD
Why can't marriage be simple?


I ask myself the same question. I know marriage takes work, but work should come from both people. Enough with the mind games! smile

Good, he didn't like the "whatever" reaction about the popcorn. Keep doing that! Let him feel guilty. It's not your responsibility to relieve him of the guilt. It shows that he DOES care about you, but he's confused. He probably likes the attention he's getting from OW, but he's not willing to let you go yet. His actions show that he's doing temp checks, he wants to make sure you're still there. If he truly didn't care, he'd be gone already.

Good for you for going to see your sister! I'm glad you won't be sitting at home letting your mind go wild about "what could be". At least for those few days, try to "forget" H.

Wow, double date? Do your friends know about your sitch?


Me:32 H:34 T:14.5 M:9.5 S:5 BD: 11/25/11


Re: Husband wants out & has one foot out the door - P2 [Re: nhmom] #2220597
02/10/12 02:22 PM
02/10/12 02:22 PM
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RoRoinMD Offline OP
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No our friends don't know anything about our sitch. So it should prove to be a interesting night. I feel like I should be nominated for an Oscar half the time!


Me:37
H:GONE

Happy and loving life.
Re: Husband wants out & has one foot out the door - P2 [Re: RoRoinMD] #2220604
02/10/12 02:38 PM
02/10/12 02:38 PM
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nhmom Offline
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Ok, now the spitefulness is coming out in me....it would be "funny" if your H's trip came up and to see how consistent his story would be as he tries to lie to your friends.

Yes, you should be nominated for an Oscar!


Me:32 H:34 T:14.5 M:9.5 S:5 BD: 11/25/11


Re: Husband wants out & has one foot out the door - P2 [Re: nhmom] #2220619
02/10/12 03:20 PM
02/10/12 03:20 PM
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Feeling for you RR. I just found out last night my WAW hooked up w/ some random dude. Guess I was naive in thinking that she wouldn't do that but whattaya gonna do.

We are taking the high road (most of the time wink and it sure is tough but I think in the end we can look back and be proud of ourselves no matter what the outcome of our m's is.

Stay strong!!


Me- 34 W-33
S15 S10 S6
Married- 11 Together- 18
Bomb- 6-2011
WAW moves out- 8-2011

"Nothing in the Universe can stop you from letting go and starting over at anytime"- Guy Finley
Re: Husband wants out & has one foot out the door - P2 [Re: sayitaintso] #2220677
02/10/12 05:40 PM
02/10/12 05:40 PM
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RoRoinMD Offline OP
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NH - I know! I still can't wait to see what the flight schedule looks like. It would be so much easier if he'd just tell the truth. Instead he just looks pathetic to me. Of course, to him, he's on easy street. GRRRR!

Sias- I don't feel very proud of myself right now. I feel used.


Me:37
H:GONE

Happy and loving life.
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