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#2207854 12/25/11 05:27 AM
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MissH Offline OP
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I haven't been here in a loooooong time. Most of you probably do not know me, but some will probably remember me. I chose to step away from this forum site a long time ago as it was holding me back from moving on with my life. I needed to take my focus elsewhere. However, that does not mean I am not grateful to everyone that has helped me. This forum was a great life saver to me when I needed it the most. I just knew it was time to move on.

I just wanted to wish everyone here a Merry Christmas.

For those of you who are who are new here are going through a painful separation/divorce, I hope you find peace during this time.

I promise you, it does get better. I have been divorced for a few years now and I am happy with my life. I used to think I would never survive if I did not "win" my husband back, but I did. In fact, I am a stronger person because of it. I have many other blessings in my life that I concentrate on. My ex is just a memory to me, one that I choose to leave in the pass. Please just focus on yourself and leave your spouses/exes to focus on theirs.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!


Me:35, ex: 36
Sons: 9 & 7
Bomb: July, 2006
Divorced 2009
MissH #2207872 12/25/11 12:58 PM
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MissH!

What a pleasant surprise! I'm very happy to see that you posted. I was thinking about you yesterday wondering if you would post. I hope all is well w/you and the boys. I'm sure that they have grown by leaps and bounds. Honey, you are one strong surviver and I'm very proud of you!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and your sons.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2207902 12/25/11 04:32 PM
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Nice to hear from you. I remember your sitch so well. Merry Christmas.


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

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MissH Offline OP
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Thank you Snodderly and Trusting.

I also need to ask a favor from everyone here.

Many of you may remember Yellowrose. She was here for a long time. I believe the last time she was here, she may have posted about having cancer.

Well she really could use some prayers as she is not doing well at all. Her family could also really use some prayers as they are struggling with her illness as well.


Me:35, ex: 36
Sons: 9 & 7
Bomb: July, 2006
Divorced 2009
MissH #2207933 12/25/11 08:28 PM
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Hey Miss H!! I was just thinking about you the other day and wondering how you are going. How old are your boys now?

I still read here a couple of times a week .... I think I'm fundamentally co-dependent and whilst I've worked hard on it for years, theres a little left over co-dependency for this board that I just can't bring myself to release!! haha

I've had no issues with my x for years and I'm great .... but he took our foster daughters out to dinner in Sydney last week and told them all this really personal stuff, some of which I don't even remember, about the period when we separated. the girls said he was very defensive and talked about how it was all my fault. He would never have left me, he claimed. He also told them that I left him for another man - which is complete rubbish.

The girls found it very awkward because for the past 7, count 'em SEVEN years, neither he nor I have ever discussed those sort of issues with the kids at all .... and it's SEVEN YEARS AGO!!!! WTF!!!!!

After I collected myself (and I don't believe it reflects on my level of complete detachment... but I do admit I was upset and embarrassed that he was talking about that sort of stuff, all this time later, and lets face it, no-one is at their best in the middle of a marriage break down) I figured, heck, the girls are 18 and 23 now, they can manage how they deal with information he gives them. What I really thought about though, was how awful for him that all that stuff is still so fresh in his head. What is he doing to himself?

It really does demonstrate that doing the work that we had to do, while intense and extreme and hellish at the time, sets you up to release all that pain and anger and not have to carry it around for years and years and years.

It's great to hear from you. I hope we both meet gorgeous, tall, wealthy, successful, emotionally healthy men this year ... I think it's out turn!!

Love V


V

Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
MissH #2207953 12/25/11 10:47 PM
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MissH,

I will most certainly keep yellowrose and her family in my thoughts and prayers. I had hoped that she would feel up to posting to let us know how she was doing, but you are doing that for her and we all thank you for the update. Is there anything else that we can do for her?

Please give her my regards and that I'm praying for her.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2207966 12/26/11 12:22 AM
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I will be praying for her as well.


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 5,375
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MissH Offline OP
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Hi Walking! My boys are now 8 and 10.

I used to read here for awhile after I left, but it was keeping me from detaching fully.

My x is still the same. He is one that will never grow up. I rarely ever speak of him because quite frankly, he's not worth my time.

One of his sister's called me up the other day because she had it out with him. She sees his behavior like I do, childish. She needed to complain to someone that would understand, so I let her complain to me. It's amazing to hear that he hasn't changed one bit in all this time.

I on the other hand have grown a lot. It's wonderful that he doesn't occupy my thoughts anymore.

Your x also sounds like he's still stuck too.

I would love to meet someone. I have spend most of my thirties single. I sometimes get the feeling that I may not meet anyone. It usually doesn't bother me, but sometimes I do get a little lonely.

Take care of yourself!


Me:35, ex: 36
Sons: 9 & 7
Bomb: July, 2006
Divorced 2009
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 5,375
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MissH Offline OP
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Thanks Snodderly and Trusting.

She hasn't posted on her FB account in a long time. Some of us have been trying to reach out to her for awhile. Her husband actually posted on FB for her recently and told us she is not doing well at all.


Me:35, ex: 36
Sons: 9 & 7
Bomb: July, 2006
Divorced 2009
MissH #2208346 12/27/11 07:12 PM
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MissH

Joining everyone in wishing you and your family a wonderful Christmas and a New Year filled with many new someone's to pick from!

The news of YR being ill did come up and then nothing. I do pray for her comfort in dealing with this, and for much improved health.

cool


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