Totally understand! I like to think that I'm all cried out by now. Much more and I'd probably dehydrate.
Me:38 W:35 T:13 M:10 (3/15/01) SD:12 D:9 S:4 Need time to think: 7/19/11 D Bomb Dropped: 8/26/11 W serves me D papers: 9/6/11 Officially served 9/30/11
Very sad. My L just called me to ask for a list of what I wanted. I said I did not want furniture, did'nt want to hurt her 401k, but the main thing is that I want reasonable and liberal visitation rights and to argue for the least amount of CS. The assessts will be 50/50 ie the house. He said this makes it all very easy. So he said you could be D 11/16, on your 1st court date and save money. WTF now???
Man, I'm so sorry to hear this Rick. Ultimately, you have to make the best decision for you. Is it worth saving they money? Do you feel that anything you would do to stretch this out would be fruitless effort? Only you know.
Hi Rick - So sorry, I got caught up in my own sitch and didn't see your latest development. I'm really sorry this is happening so fast for you. I heard it said that when one door closes a new one opens. I hope you find the open door real soon!
Take care!
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
Good morning rick, how are you doing today? How did the divorce care meeting go last night? Did you sleep allright? Just checking in on ya, talk soon. Gunny
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
Thanks for the support everyone I'm gonna need it for the next few weeks or months. I don't know if I drag this out will it save my M? I don't think so my W is deep in the fog and fast forward towards D. Wished I had found this site many years ago. i would have learned how my W showed me love. Her ways were to give me presents and do loving things such as cook, make breakfast. She was not much of a hugger even though she would say that if she wanted to touch me i would push her away. I don't think that it's true since the way I show is by touching hugging and being physical. If I ever have a new partner I will keep this in mind.
Today my emotions are all over the place. Depressed, afraid, angry, lonely. You name it I have it. I'm really hurt that W goes on as if nothing is happening, as if she is buying a car or groceries.
What have I done to change me and save my M. Well I tried AD, I have a C, I joined a group. I come here for 2x4's advice and support. I have owend up to my flaws. I died my hair ( even though noone noticed it). I think I tried everything to save my R. Maybe not, I don't know. But if D ever ask I can tell her that I did everything possible
I was only able to saty in the group for 1 hr as I was feeling down and tired. The guess speaker changed to next Monday but we had a pastor speak briefly and he said that they pray for our group often even when we are not there. i spoke to one the males there he is 65 said his W has filed 3 x's and that every so often she goes crazy, becomes mean and malicious. He said he has had enough. He wants a D. He would not stop talking about his sitch and I did not have a change to talk about mine. we saw a tape regarding finances after D. Pretty scary. Talking about God really helped.
the one thing is even if we D in 2 weeks we still have to clean and sell the house. That could take months. It's going to be weird being d and living together. God help me.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Rick, Buddy, take a deep breath, get outside for a walk. This latest turn of events is unfortunately just another step in the process. You will get through this.
I am having these same emotions, but am slowly coming out of the tunnel. You will too, you are doing all the right things, you werent making these changes for her, you were making them for you. You are a great guy, its to her detriment that she just doesnt see it right now.
One thing that is helping me rick, is that I am trying to really, really, stay in the moment, which is incredibly difficult for me to do. By doing this, for a fleeting instant, the time it takes for that moment to pass, I can control one thing, and that is how I react to the passing moment. Doing this gives me some comfort, pretty soon, these moments turn to minutes, which turn to hours, which eventually turn to days. Hope this helps, yu are in my thoughts.
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
Just got an email from my L that he contacted W's L to discuss what we discussed yesterday. The email said that W's L is no longer representing her and that W has a new L in a different county and he does not know her. I wonder why she would have changed Ls? He emailed me back and said that he was surprised also since nothing has happened to our case and it is very early in the process. I think she is going to squeeze me but I have very little to give.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
When my brother got d this happened because W's check bounced and the first lawyer dropped her
Married 6 together 8 Me:38 W:31 second marriage for both SS12, SD10, S6 Bomb: 9/8/11 (day before our 5 yr ann) W moved out: 2/18/12 D final: 11/12/12 Share S 50/50. Spend as much time as I can with SS & SD
