Doesn't happen overnight but you turn around And a month's gone by and you realize you haven't cried I'm not giving you a hour or a second or another minute longer I'm busy getting stronger
I can not honestly say that I have gone an entire month with out crying but for the most part I am getting "a little bit stronger" as time goes on.
We've settled pretty nicely into our new (rented) house. x was none too happy when he found out I had no intentions of letting him have access to my home! He actually expected to come here and hang out. He says I am making it difficult for him to see the boys. He is delusional! He rarely sees them but that is his choice. I specifically had the D papers worded to say he could have them "at his will".
I seldom have any contact with him and I very rarely initiate it. If I do it is strictly business and via email only.
I am not dating and really have no desire to. Work is good and thankfully, I finally have my head back into it. My only real complaint with myself is that even though I go to boot camp and work out three times a week I have steadily been gaining weight! ugh I need to get a handle on my eating habits, summer was basically a "feeding frenzy" lol
I guess that is about all news... here is a link to my prior thread It's my life!
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
You do sound stronger and glad that things are better for you. Time does have a way with making things better thank goodness! I think you are wise on the not dating thing. I fear I jumped back in to soon without taking time to become emotionally ready. However live and learn.
A few months after the formal separation with my ex-W I decided to try the Match.com thing. I met someone who immediately latched (for lack of a better term) on to me and it scared the living you know what out of me. It took me several weeks to untangle myself from her. She was a nice lady she just was looking for an immediate husband. Wanted to introduce me to her daughter after just a couple of dates. Anyway, I was really not ready to date so I went back into self isolation and hibernation. I recently came back out and am seeing someone who is a wonderful person who simply adores me. My concern now is that she is definitely more into me than I am into her and I don't know if it's because I am still not ready or if the "chemistry" is just not there for us. Before we started dating she was a good friend of mine and I don't want to hurt her at all so I keep hoping that my attraction will grow. I enjoy her company and doing things together. Sorry probably more information than you were asking :-).
not at all BA. I thank you for sharing your experience. I worry that I may never be ready to date
early on I toyed with match.com… actually started chatting with a very nice, good looking (from his pics) guy, but after a few days I could tell he was really a Nigerian scammer type! Scared the beegeebees out of me.
The other thing I notice about match.com (in my area anyway) is that most of the men I would be interested in age wise (approx 50-58) are looking for women at least ten years younger than I am at 52.
If the good Lord has plans for me to be with someone, He is going to have to drop this person in my path so I trip right over him.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
Yes my experience with Match is that people are very particular as to what they want and rely too much on age and physical characteristics, i.e. tall (sorry I can't stretch my height past the 5'8" I was blessed with), dark (I am fair skinned but could get a slight tan I guess) and handsome (well beauty is in the eye of the beholder). I guess to a certain extent we are a visual society, however in the "real world" where you sometime meet someone and get to know them before you become physically attracted to them you find out what kind of a person they are and that leads to romance regardless of their height, hair color, age, and or physique.
NNP, if you read MWD's stuff on the "Grass is Greener" phenomenon, one of the big surprises for Walk Away Wives -- I'm not saying you are one, it's just an overall thing you have to battle -- is that divorced or single men look to date younger. On my profile, I put a range of 32 to 42. I'm 42.
The online thing feels weird. Messaging with people and THEN meeting. Usually, you see someone first and feel the attraction and then see if they like you. A lady messaged me a few times, she seemed nice, then we met at church and I wasn't attracted to her.
I felt guilty. But the whole thing really seems backward.
As far as being ready to date. My XW told the girls not only would she never remarry, she'd never date again. That was early in 2010. She's so withdrawn that I actually thought she might mean it. Now, in 2011, she's on Match and Chemistry.
I think you'll get there in time.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
I get plenty of inquiries from guys who had their age range listed as younger than me. I think if you look and sound youthful, they are willing to stretch those ranges. If you see someone near your age who is interesting and you are a little above their age range, don't be afraid to message them.
The other inquiries I get (fully half!) are from MUCH younger guys. Who knew????
Met my current guy in a store, he is 9 years younger than me, I don't think he actually knows how old I am. He hasn't asked and I'm not volunteering the information! (Although he should be able to have some idea, since he knows our oldest children are near the same age and he started VERY young - 17! I am sure he realizes I was NOT a teen mom, and therefore likely to be a bit older than him.)
Are you dating someone now?