Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 6 of 7 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,906
Likes: 1
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,906
Likes: 1
Just read your sitch and sorry for you too. I can't believe how fast this is going. the one thing is that I can stay until the house is sold. That can take a months and I don't have to leave. I have t get the place ready for showing and homes don't sell so fast in winter. Hang in there


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 51
T
tjb54 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 51
Well it's been a pretty emotional day today. Both good and bad. We've got our court date tomorrow afternoon and am pretty sure the D will be finalized. Just hoping that she buys the 60 day move out stipulation. It's tough living together now, not looking forward to living together for a month or two being D. Gotta do what I gotta do though....

So, I thought I'd take a trip into Champaign and get me some new duds. Nothing suit fancy, but a nice casual fancy. I figure that since we started this journey with a Tux and a Wedding dress that I wasn't going out in jeans and a sweatshirt. smile I'm guessing that a Tux to a D hearing would be overkill though. Then I thought, heck at the beginning I was honored with a nice ring. So I headed over to the same Jewelry shop that I bought my W her 10 year anniv ring back in March and picked myself up a nice Bulov precisionist watch. I'm a momentos kind of guy. Down 23 pounds since this started, quit smoking on the 26 of this month and am looking ahead. Oh yeah, the 26th was my S birthday. Heading home I thought I should head over to Cathedral we were Wed in since it's in this town. Looking for closure I guess. So I get there and walk inside. WoW did the emotions really kick in! The place was totally empty and I took a seat up front. This is the first time I've been there since our Wedding. Stupid me didn't even think of bring a hanky or tissue. At least I was wearing a long sleeved shirt... frown My original thought for the visit was that I'd get it all out of my system before court tomorrow. I hope it works.

My W's father called while my W was out and we had a good half hour talk. Told him that I really enjoyed being part of the family. The feeling was mutual I gathered. When we were done talking I felt the urge to call my W's brother who lives a couple of hours away and basically say my goodbyes to him and his wife aswell. Good talk that I just felt I need to have. He did tell me one thing that was kind of a shocker. He said, "TJ, I'm surprised you lasted this long with my sister and mother up there. To be honest with you, that's why we're 2 hours away." Not sure why I'm throwing that in, just am.

W has not mentioned tomorrows court day at all today. Unsuccessfully trying to mind read I guess...

Wish me luck tomorrow, please.............!!


Me:38 W:35
T:13 M:10 (3/15/01)
SD:12 D:9 S:4
Need time to think: 7/19/11
D Bomb Dropped: 8/26/11
W serves me D papers: 9/6/11
Officially served 9/30/11
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,906
Likes: 1
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,906
Likes: 1
Good luck today man I know what you are going through. We will survive this thing even if it seems hopeless. It isn't. God will make it right just trust him.


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 51
T
tjb54 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 51
In and out in 57 minutes. 13 years together ended just like that. Surprisingly, I've yet to shed a tear today over this. Not quite sure what to make of that.
60 day stay didn't go over well. W wanted 2 weeks, settled on the 26th of this month. So that about 3 weeks to transition the kids and pack out. W and kids will be on a Thanksgiving vacation 24-26.
I arrived back home about 2 hours after court and W is acting as nothing has changed. I seriously don't understand.....


Me:38 W:35
T:13 M:10 (3/15/01)
SD:12 D:9 S:4
Need time to think: 7/19/11
D Bomb Dropped: 8/26/11
W serves me D papers: 9/6/11
Officially served 9/30/11
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 51
T
tjb54 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 51
Originally Posted By: Rick1963
Good luck today man I know what you are going through. We will survive this thing even if it seems hopeless. It isn't. God will make it right just trust him.

Yes we will R! Thanks for the kind words!


Me:38 W:35
T:13 M:10 (3/15/01)
SD:12 D:9 S:4
Need time to think: 7/19/11
D Bomb Dropped: 8/26/11
W serves me D papers: 9/6/11
Officially served 9/30/11
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,906
Likes: 1
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,906
Likes: 1
TJ I am so sorry . Does this mean you got a D? Hang in there


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 51
T
tjb54 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 51
Thanks. Yup, got the D. To be honest though, I feel nothing like I thought I would. Following the advice and reading others stories, I believe has prepared me in a way.


Me:38 W:35
T:13 M:10 (3/15/01)
SD:12 D:9 S:4
Need time to think: 7/19/11
D Bomb Dropped: 8/26/11
W serves me D papers: 9/6/11
Officially served 9/30/11
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,906
Likes: 1
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,906
Likes: 1
Man that stinks. how are you feeling today TJ? I hope you are ok man I'm praying for you.


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 51
T
tjb54 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 51
Believe it or not, I feel almost a relief. My only sad thoughts were informing the children.

We decided to tell the kids today. SD12 and D9 had Karate practice today, but W and I decided they should skip practice tonight and we all went out to a Chinese Buffet this evening. This is something we do for events. Both kids made honor roll, one made high honors and this was our reasoning for the dinner out. Actually, W and I decided one last family meal out would be nice.

An hour after getting home, we called the kids in to inform them of the D. SD12 sheltered herself using jokes and laughing. I could read her eyes though. frown D5 didn't digest it at all. Which I hope is a good thing. D9 had a total meltdown. She's our most sensitive one. Totally understood what a D was. Sad, sad indeed....

I feel ashamed to admit this, but I'm relieved the ice has finally been broken with the children. frown


Me:38 W:35
T:13 M:10 (3/15/01)
SD:12 D:9 S:4
Need time to think: 7/19/11
D Bomb Dropped: 8/26/11
W serves me D papers: 9/6/11
Officially served 9/30/11
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 51
T
tjb54 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 51
WoW! I just reread my post and see that I still referred to her as W.


Me:38 W:35
T:13 M:10 (3/15/01)
SD:12 D:9 S:4
Need time to think: 7/19/11
D Bomb Dropped: 8/26/11
W serves me D papers: 9/6/11
Officially served 9/30/11
Page 6 of 7 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard