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cam #2172228 07/28/11 11:04 PM
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Originally Posted By: cam
Thanks Greek. The main problem with my wife is that she has always run from situations in her life when they get tough, so she just sees this as another one of those. It is something she has done all through her life and learned from childhood, so she just thinks it works and this is it. She has no concept of the sacredness and bonds of marriage, rather she just quits. So I am no low in confidence of being able to do anything that will make her question her actions and change her mind.

Cam,
I wasn't a big supporter of the sacredness and bonds of marriage when I walked away from my family. I was hurting and staying hurt worse than leaving, so I left. Sacredness and bonds were not part of the decision tree. I don't think H ever brought up our vows while I was leaving - it wouldn't have mattered to me at that point. I didn't want that old marriage anymore. What my H did was to show me just a glimpse of what the new M could look like - eye contact, interest, partnership, boundaries,listening...and he did all of that while letting me go.

Watch that video clip again, but this time watch it knowing that a former WAW like myself is telling you it is the spot on, God's truth. Don't let any part of your mind argue with it or you will not get it.
Greek


Me45 H46
T25 M22
S21 & 19
D13
Separated and filed 8/08
Moved home 11/08



Happily ever after is one day at a time.
Greek #2172312 07/29/11 04:02 AM
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Originally Posted By: Greek
Originally Posted By: cam
Thanks Greek. The main problem with my wife is that she has always run from situations in her life when they get tough, so she just sees this as another one of those. It is something she has done all through her life and learned from childhood, so she just thinks it works and this is it. She has no concept of the sacredness and bonds of marriage, rather she just quits. So I am no low in confidence of being able to do anything that will make her question her actions and change her mind.

Cam,
I wasn't a big supporter of the sacredness and bonds of marriage when I walked away from my family. I was hurting and staying hurt worse than leaving, so I left. Sacredness and bonds were not part of the decision tree. I don't think H ever brought up our vows while I was leaving - it wouldn't have mattered to me at that point. I didn't want that old marriage anymore. What my H did was to show me just a glimpse of what the new M could look like - eye contact, interest, partnership, boundaries,listening...and he did all of that while letting me go.

Watch that video clip again, but this time watch it knowing that a former WAW like myself is telling you it is the spot on, God's truth. Don't let any part of your mind argue with it or you will not get it.
Greek


Thanks I will watch the video again then. I guess I don't have the confidence because she has said that since we dont have kids then this is the best thing for us at this early stage of our marriage, even though we have 8 years together. She gets back from America on Tuesday and I dont expect any contact with her and it will be full steam ahead with the divorce process and property settlement.


M 35
W 31
Separated 2/2011 but still together
Ended it 4/2011
Together 8 yrs
Married 3.5 yrs
Lawyers involved 6/2011
cam #2172622 07/30/11 03:45 AM
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Greek, I get the video and it explains my situation exactly and even how I feel and think now in terms of improving myself as a husband and i have woken up and it's all too late. I can't get her to realize and see that though as she has just blocked it out and only focuses on the negatives of our relationship. She can't see any positives anymore, according to her it was "always a struggle"


M 35
W 31
Separated 2/2011 but still together
Ended it 4/2011
Together 8 yrs
Married 3.5 yrs
Lawyers involved 6/2011
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