I see that pull again in ex's face. The same pull that was at the beginning of his crisis, choosing between his family and OW. He is struggling and not at all enjoying his life. This was suppose to be fun, now OW is making demands, the lust is gone, OW is spending his money like crazy. Oh well, karma is sometimes interesting to watch. He may very well give in to his OW, it is a huge possibility. I have started to prepare myself for that but along with that is misery. I have put my whole situation in God's hands and I know that he will do what is best for me. Everytime I see ex now I have this amazing peace within. Part of it is because he is no longer being cruel and hateful, but another part is that now I know I can live without him. Maybe my perception of who is really was distorted and I am also coming to grips with reality.
God Bless
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, You can't go wrong w/putting it in God's hands. He has a way of working things out for the best.
You are doing very well and I'm happy to see that you are doing okay.
Your xh has got a lot of tough decisions to make and only he can do this. Let's hope he has the strength to make the right ones.
Take care and have a great day!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Need advice from my friends......... Ow was talking to someone on the phone in front of my 7 year old. She was not talking to ex but daughter thinks it was a girlfriend. Daughter said ow told this person ex and her are getting married in Hawaii in 2013. Not an appropriate thing to say around my daughter who does not want this to happen. Advice?
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
EverHopeful said it all. "Just keep moving forward, in spite of what they do."
I know it hurts, but you have no control over their relationship or what your ex's girlfriend says when your daughter is around.
I'm sorry your daughter does not want this to happen, but unfortunately, they reality is, they don't really care what she wants.
The best thing you can do is move forward and take your focus elsewhere. You need to show your daughter that despite what her dad and his girlfriend do, life still has a lot to offer and the both of you are going to be just fine.
I don't mean to sound heartless, sorry if I am coming off that way. I just sometimes feel you are still too focused on your ex.
You need to except reality. And the reality is that your ex has been gone some time now and has moved on with someone else. Is it possible your daughter doesn't want them to get married because she knows you want him back?
I think it is entirely inappropriate to say this in front of a child, but not surprising from the type of women who go off with men in MLC [or vice versa] It shows a lack of awareness of the feelings of others, or the realisation that a young child takes in a lot. Or perhaps she hoped it would get back to you?
One never knows, but 2013 is a long way off, and it may be fantasy or it may have been in response to someone saying to OW - 'Are you ever going to get married then?' and her simply saying something to fend it off. Honestly who knows?
Having said that I would agree, that hard as it is, take the focus off your XH. If he ever comes out of this you will know. And in the meantime continue to live your own life with grace and dignity, as you do already.
Thank you all for the responses. I should not be surprised that ow said this. It is hard for me to take the focus off my sitch when it affects the kids, but I know I have to. My daughter probably picks up my vibe of restoration, but she has often said she wants her mommy and daddy in one place.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, I am not sure if you still have a thing for the X, but a wedding might not ever happen. Just the fact that it is 2013 is pretty interesting. That's a long time away. OW is my sitch was posting pics of herself in wedding dresses online and there was a place determined.
Well, it never happened. It's possible X will marry New Woman but at least she is not the girl child that the OW was.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Trusting, Here's my take on the phone conversation. The ow knew that your child was near by and may have just said that they were getting married in 2013 so that your child would hear it and run back to you. You may to remember, the ops are manipulative and cunning....
It wasn't appropriate to say that in front of your child, but when it comes to being manipulative, they will use anything and anyone to stir the pot up. The year 2013 is far off and a lot can happen in 12 months...but I still think she pulled the year out of hat and used it to her advantage to make sure the message was carried home to you.
Sit quietly, information will definitely fall into your lap and very soon.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
