Hey TM My wife did the not getting dressed in front of me also a couple of months ago, guess it's just another one those feelings they get. Don't really understand after 22 yrs. Anyway some of things u said sound a positive but hard to say. Sounds like teasing too though. B careful. I'm to new to this to really give advise but I really think it's funny how so much of the behaviour is the same across the board. When comparing notes with others it seems somewhat predictable except for tha outcome, and no one knows that but God himself. Keep praying and hang in there and the most important thing is patience, patience, patience.
Interesting thing happened night before last. My sons buddy came over to spend the night so she agreed we would sleep n the same bed to keep his buddy from knowing anything. We went to bed and after some chit chat myW kinda shut down and got that look on her face, like I dont want u here. So I got my pillow and went in the LR to sleep. Tried to hide in my sons tent he had set up in there to play in so if his buddy came through he wouldn't see me. Well that just didn't work, it was hot and the floor was hard. So after about a half hour I went back in the bedroom and told her if she was uncomfortable with this she could go in there and I was gonna sleep in our bed. She said she didn't mean to make me feel that she was uncomfortable and she was sorry. Not only that, after I got back in bed we laughed about something the boys did and talked to each other like things were ok, and then went to sleep. I've been somewhat of a doormat since this started, wondering if I did a 180 and didn't realise it. It's hard to get respect when your a doormat so I wonder if it's a 180 to kinda stand up for myself, in a very calm nice way of course, and show some confidence. Ya never know but it seemed to get a positive reaction. What do you guys think????
LMW, In my case, my W would back down and come around much quicker on those occasions I stuck up for myself. The trick is to balance sticking up for yourself with being a jerk. For some people it's a fine line. If it's working for you, keep doing it!
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
The band I play in has been approached by a major independent film company to provide the score for a film they are producing. Their intent is to have a nationwide release in 2012 or 2013. We were on a conference call with them last night for over an hour, and we did not get the feeling they were blowing smoke.
Could not come at a better time. It will give me something else to bear down on while W and I sort out our lives.
I too have to say the sticking up for yourself thing is great. Especially during piecing, it's easy to want bend over backwards for them, but they appreciate confidence, and strength much more than being accomodating and spineless.
"I've been somewhat of a doormat since this started, wondering if I did a 180 and didn't realise it. It's hard to get respect when your a doormat so I wonder if it's a 180 to kinda stand up for myself, in a very calm nice way of course, and show some confidence. Ya never know but it seemed to get a positive reaction. What do you guys think????"
Women respect men who respect themselves.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
Good point, gb90. it's becoming easier every day to deal with her impending move. She has really stalled on this front, however; she came home from work last night and went straight to bed.
Not my problem.
I think your approach you are taking is great and I truly wish I can get to "where you are" sooner. You seem to have a very good handle...or as good of one as you can have...on your sitch Telemark. I fully understand your confusion...all the mixed signals are difficult to deal with. I think you're doing a great job of staying level though throughout and not getting too up or down. I'm striving for similar in my own sitch but continue to fall short in that arena.
mid 20s Tgther 7 yrs W EA 04/12/11 PA 04/23/11 W filed 05/11/11 I moved out 08/05/11 Mediation mid Oct 11 D final Dec 11 Now what? ...2012
Awesome. Thanks for the response. The last thing I want to be is a jerk. I will make sure I stand my ground for something very worth it but in a somewhat firm, polite way. Like they say pick ur battles, Don't stand for something frivolous. Thanks
That's great!
I hope it pans out!
