I'm hot and cold on how much leeway to give...part of me wants to just get her out so I can move on and part of me wants to be as warm and compassionate as I can be to let her see what she is walking away from.
Once she is out - really "out" - she will either adapt to the situation and force herself to make the best of it so she doesn't lose face, or she will realize she really screwed up and come to the bargaining table. I'm OK with the former and not sure what I would do with the latter.
But I'm done trying to predict the future.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
I feel the same way alot too. So don't feel u r alone. My W has told me the same things, and her being in the house and not showing any affection or real caring and myself trying to withhold and detach is pure torture at times.
W is a very beautiful woman w/ a great figure, and I never missed the chance to tell her how much I valued and appreciated her appearance. After she dropped the bomb in March she wore very demure and "proper" clothes around the house - full-length robes, shirts and blouses up to the neck, loose jeans & pants...you get the idea. Also made sure to always keep the doors closed whenever she was dressing or undressing, even when it was just the two of us in the house.
Fine, I get it. We're just roomies now; no funny stuff.
Last couple of weeks it's been the total opposite - low-cut blouses, tight jeans or shorts...
...you get the idea.
At first I thought it was the warm weather, but I keep the house cool; to the point where she feels almost too cold. It's not the OM; he's 1600 miles away and I'm pretty certain she has not talked to him for sometime.
So...last night I'm on the couch watching the tube. She comes in wearing this barely-there tank top and short-shorts pajama number and sits down next to me. I push my eyeballs back into their sockets and say something witty like, "Ah..you look nice." She smiles, says "Thanks!" and stretches her legs out in front of me.
I felt like a fish being played on a line.
Is she showing me what I'm going to be missing? Trying to get my attention, or to get me to beg her to stay? Just screwing with me for the fun of it?
it's getting just too weird around here.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
jb, it's like some bizarre game with W making up the rules as we go along.
KD, that's a good way of looking at it. And considering the cloud of tension that has hung in our house for the last 5 months, I'll take being comfortable with me as a positive. Nothing to do cartwheels about, just a positive.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
Telemark Just enjoy the eye candy, and try not to read too much into it. She probably has some immature and selfish reason to do it, so don't over analyze it. Keep doing what you are doing. Be strong, but remind her you are only acting this way because this is what she chose, and you can go back to being old loving telemark if she could choose to make the right decisions.
Good point, gb90. it's becoming easier every day to deal with her impending move. She has really stalled on this front, however; she came home from work last night and went straight to bed.
Not my problem.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
The band I play in has been approached by a major independent film company to provide the score for a film they are producing. Their intent is to have a nationwide release in 2012 or 2013. We were on a conference call with them last night for over an hour, and we did not get the feeling they were blowing smoke.
Could not come at a better time. It will give me something else to bear down on while W and I sort out our lives.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
