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Originally Posted By: BeTheMan
He is simply the better man for her. I now need to be a better man for me and my kids. I need to BeTheMan.

If you REALLY mean that then give her true freedom. A true man pays his own way in the world and does not seek to keep the one he supposedly "loved unconditionally" enslaved to pay for his home.


M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married
4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
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BTM

A divorce can leave you completely worn out and drained of desires to go on with your life. It's terribly hard and it's an emotional blow that's difficult to recover from, I know I’ve lived it…..living it.

Look at it as an opportunity for a new beginning. Accept your current situation as is, and build your life to what you want it to be from this very moment onward. Build "a better you."

Obtaining a complete understanding of your situation will get you very far and very fast. Try not to get caught up feeling sorry for yourself, which will keep you from thinking clearly. Now is the time to start living for yourself. But, your STXW rejection does not change who you are and how valuable you are as a person. The rejection was just a choice your ex-spouse made. That's all. You have to always remember that your ex-spouse's choice does not determine your worth. Keep in your mind that you are still a person worthy of a happy and a fulfilling life.

Anger needs an outlet. Venting it out will help you get back to a healthy, emotional state of mind.

One day at a time BTM


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I haven't check in for some time. How things have changed for me.

I made that trip out to Calgary to visit and old (best) friend. We have known each other for 25 years and he was best man at my wedding. Talking with him and getting away from it all helped. As did something that happened while there. We were out at a bar and I had way too much to drink. For the first time in 23 years, I tried to "pick up" a woman. The short version is that I was successful and we had a great few days together while I was there. There is little chance of it going anywhere, since she is so far away and by the end of this year will be even further away, since her visa expires and she will most likely have to return to Czech. I am however, likely making a trip out there for a few days in a couple weeks, mostly just to see her. It's what makes me happy right now.

I don't know if it's the touch and attention of another woman, the Prozac (about 2 1/2 weeks in) or that I have finally truly moved on, but I am sooooooooo much happier now and almost never think of STBX or OM. I haven't had any contact since the day I left on June 6 and feel no desire at all to do so. I feel calm for large portions of the day for the first time in almost 2 years.

I have an appt. with my bank manager next week to apply for credit line to buy STBX out of the house. That is the first step towards finalizing the divorce, and now I just want to get it done.

I realized something in the last few days. I am 42, healthy, attractive, with grown children. I have a chance to do something very few people do at my age - anything I want!


50 years old.

Ontario, Canada

Loving Marriage #2 with the perfect person.


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I met with my bank manager to apply for a HUGE line of credit to buy STBX out of the house. Should be no problem with approval. But, this marks the start of actual division of assets. I hope it goes smoothly.

STBX showed up at my house again today. She was here to pick up S1y for work, but came right in. A couple weeks ago we agreed all communication would be by text, or email. She has been here 3 times since. Tomorrow I will send an email about the bank meeting and politely request that she stays with our agreement.

I feel so calm about everything lately. Really not sure why.


50 years old.

Ontario, Canada

Loving Marriage #2 with the perfect person.


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Booked a flight back to Calgary to spend the upcoming long weekend (here in Canada) with my new friend. No idea where it's going to go, but it sure is fun.

I emailed STBX regarding a few financial issues etc today. I am hoping we can have the divorce completed by the end of August. Her BB status the last couple days: "how would you feel". No idea if that is directed at me. No concern though either.


50 years old.

Ontario, Canada

Loving Marriage #2 with the perfect person.


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I haven't stopped by in a while. My D should be done within the next month. I can't believe I spent so many years trying to save a marriage to a woman who had no respect for me. I wish I had started living years ago. I am so excited about my future. Take care everyone. I promise you, there is light at the end of the tunnel.


50 years old.

Ontario, Canada

Loving Marriage #2 with the perfect person.


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Good stuff, BTM...

Let us know how things go for you, from time to time...

It can't NOT get better, eventually...

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Things are going great Kaffe. I am loving life. Nothing like a SUPER hot 32 year old to make the world all better. I can't believe I wasted all those years. Onward and upward.


50 years old.

Ontario, Canada

Loving Marriage #2 with the perfect person.


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Good for you BTM!

Try not to think of them as wasted years, there has to have been *something* positive about them. But yes, onward and upward it is!


Me 43 W 38
M 5 T 7
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S15, S13 with 1st W
ILYBNILWY June 2010
Separation/Bomb July 2010
Divorce Feb 8, 2011
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Thanks LP. Nice to hear from you. When I have some time, I will stop by your thread and check in on you. Terrible news from Nine. I was shocked.

Next week, divorce discussions about money etc start. Things should go fairly simply. Not too concerned at all. I just want it done. Life continues to be fun and interesting. I haven't been this happy in a long time.


50 years old.

Ontario, Canada

Loving Marriage #2 with the perfect person.


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