Same here Saffie! I only "woke up" when the A was on the deathbed. I had suspicions at x-mas 2009, but told myself he'd never do THAT! Then during the early winter 2010 I thought about it and actually told myself, "IF he IS having an A, it will burn itself out and I'm too tired to investigate." Then I went into denial again, so I really did ignore it. I often wonder what would have happened if I had investigated and found out earlier.
It wasn't until HE started being more blatant that I clued in; texting her IN FRONT OF ME! THEN, boy oh boy...the crap hit the fan. I "laid down the law" and their A escalated for about 6 weeks. THEN I started DB and it took 2 weeks more for it to end. After that it was touch and go until x-mas 2010.
I just read over my journal from last year and even though we (I) have tough days, we are so far away from where we were last year!
M 55 H 58 M 24 T 29 S 22,21, 19 Bomb 4/10 It (A) really isn't about you 11/2013 We all have work to do
The truth will set you free, but it will almost kill you first.
............and it will slowly keep getting better, and one day you will realize that you haven't thought about it for a little while....and then those gaps get bigger. Things may make you jolt with memory now and then, but I try to think of those things as a wake up call telling me not to get too complacent about my M.
You are doing fine
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
I really need to hear that Saffie! It's exactly WHY I came on today. Every AM I wake up and the A is the first thing that hits me and then I start to obsess. Like this AM, I was thinking how 2 summers ago we celebrated my B-day and then our anniversary, we went away for 2 wknds in the fall and had fantastic LM, we started planning a BIG family vaca.....little did I know that during all this time he was heating up and starting an A. Blows my mind sometimes. Reflecting back I can see how distant he was becoming and as the fall turned into winter, we were struggling to be connected. I asked about it and he said it was work stuff. I voiced my feelings of disconnection. I even offered a separation! After I offered to move to our cottage I went up to bed, he came into our bedroom and held me, kissed me and said he didn't know what he would do without me. He had already started the PA at that time! One confused dude, huh?
M 55 H 58 M 24 T 29 S 22,21, 19 Bomb 4/10 It (A) really isn't about you 11/2013 We all have work to do
The truth will set you free, but it will almost kill you first.
