Hi...sigh...I was over in MLC and now that we are solidly piecing, I'll start a new thread here pretty soon. I just want to get familiar with this section.
In a nutshell...... H and I are committed to our M. We say ILY a lot...whenever we want. We LIKE our R talks, but don't do them every day. H wants to renew our vows. I think that is a ways off. I'M the one who isn't ready. H is quite relieved to be out of the craziness of the A. H has to deal with that himself. That's his work.
I do have classic PTSD symptoms and am working on healing. It's not full-blown like it was, but I still have symptoms. That is my work.
M 55 H 58 M 24 T 29 S 22,21, 19 Bomb 4/10 It (A) really isn't about you 11/2013 We all have work to do
The truth will set you free, but it will almost kill you first.
Harrier - I'm curious! what's the BIG goal in April!? And Hi MZ! Wow - nice to see you back in piecing - congrats! Really glad to hear you're working on your own experience of trauma from the A. You deserve that.
As far as obtainable goals go, I think they should be a part of everyday marriage. When I saw the name of the thread 'patience' - that really resonated with me because it, in itself was enough of a goal when things were worst...
Every time I initiated a change, or asked for a change in the M, it required a lot of patience. Lots of times the change would start of good, then falter a number of times before I could really feel like it was becoming a part of our day-to-day life.
And, particularly if it was a change I needed to ask him for, lots of times I couldn't even be sure he took the request to heart because the response to it was often silence. However I'd just put the request out there, and wait. Soon enough, there would be the change I'd been hoping for.
Even now, my goal would be patience and compassion with myself as I continue to learning (and making mistakes) to be more open with him.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.